Tag: Overcoming doubt

  • From Leveling Up in Games to Leveling Up IRL: What Elden Ring (and Soulsborne Games) Taught Me About Growth

    Welcome — However You Found Your Way Here

    How The Journey Began

    As a kid, I used to dive into video games not just for fun — but for escape. Video games were stories I couldn’t explore in real life. I preferred leveling up my characters, exploring epic worlds, unlocking new abilities, and compelling stories.

    It felt good to grow, even if it was only on-screen. What I didn’t realize back then was that I was building the blueprint for how I’d eventually grow in real life.

    Games like Elden Ring, Bloodborne, and Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice have done more for me than just fill time — they’ve challenged me, shaped me, and slowly helped me believe that I could grow, not just in-game… but as a person.

    My Childhood: Escape Was Growth

    When I was younger, I didn’t think I was smart enough, strong enough, or confident enough to handle the real world. Trial and error felt too risky in real life and criticisms felt like real physical damage—especially if personal resources weren’t aplenty.

    So I turned to video games as my main source of escape.

    In those digital worlds, failure was temporary, and effort was always rewarded. I could try, and I could improve — without judgment, fear of failure, and tools to increase EXP and skills faster than in real life.

    Games gave me what school, social life, and expectations couldn’t: a space where I could grow at my own pace.

    As silly as it might seem, I found something valuable from being a gamer that I didn’t bother to find in real life: tools and lessons in disguise.

    It took me over 10 years to see what I was blind to and, what I was doing in my games, I could have applied the same effort in real life.

    Adulthood: Facing Reality (With Gaming EXP)

    Fast-forward to the present — living on my own, juggling two jobs, exhausted and worn down as hell, but still alive and kicking. Then, suddenly, I starting to see it:

    The way I’ve been playing in Elden Ring, how it pushes me to improve and try again, in a small way, is how I show up in my own life.

    In Elden Ring, I do complain, I rage when my character dies — either I wasn’t paying attention, I died to a boss enemy, or got impatient and the game had to put me in my place — I make mistakes. While I did give up initially, I grew comfortable with the constant failures because I could try again — with a new approach.

    That’s not just a gaming mindset. That’s applicable to real life as well.

    Growth Lessons From Elden Ring and Other Soulsborn Games

    I used to hate how difficult Elden Ring was because it had no difficulty setting you could change it to. It punished those who would like to coast in the game. But now I appreciate it — because it forced me to learn, adapt, and evolve.

    Just like life does.

    And honestly? That’s been a gift. The game rewards me when I’m patient. It punishes me when I rush. It makes me earn every inch of progress — and that’s made every victory feel earned, not given.

    Life has a similar, uncanny innate mechanism to FromSoft’s games. You can try something, fail at it, or rise from the supposed failures life threw at you—just like The Tarnished, The Hunter, and Wolf do after every defeat.

    The rise again and we can do the same if we choose to.

    While I know that I don’t have a grand objective like these protagonists—become the Elden Lord, hunt monsters, or save my liege from imprisonment—the beauty of our lives is we get to choose our own objectives, lessons, successes, and how we approach failure.

    The Biggest Lesson: I’m Capable of Growth Outside of the Games

    For most of my life, I didn’t think I could improve. I thought that I was born a failure and that my lot in life was because I didn’t win the supposed “lottery” at birth. But these games showed me that I could — through persistence, strategy, and self-reflection—do and be better.

    I just have to apply the same methodology to everything else in my life:

    After work has finished and I’m safe at home, I take stock of what happened in the day. I do my best not to spazz out when things go wrong — I slow down and observe to the best of my abilities, and make due with what I have. Even if it’s not a success, as long as I wake up, I can keep trying again and again until I can’t.

    In life, I don’t fear failure the same way I used — I know it’s part of the process. It’s part of earning EXP. Even in writing this blog, I’m leveling up — using trial and error, not waiting to be perfect, but just good enough in my own eyes.

    In Conclusion – Call to Reflect

    Tell me, Fellow Archivists,

    • “What lessons have your favorite games taught you about life? How have you applied them outside of the screen?”
    • Which in-game failures taught you the most about resilience?”
    • “How do you turn lessons from games into real-life progress?”

    Level Up With Me

    If this post resonated, consider pressing “like” to unlock a little XP for the archive, subscribe to keep up with my ongoing quest, or share with fellow archivists who might benefit from these lessons.

    Every click, share, or follow is like finding a hidden item chest — it helps this little corner of the internet keep growing and reaching others leveling up alongside us.

    Games As IRL Preparation

    If you’re someone who’s ever felt like real-life growth was out of reach… I get it. I lived that. But maybe the hours you’ve spent getting destroyed by Malenia Blade of Miquella, failing to parry Genichiro Ashina, or escaping the nightmare streets of Yharnam weren’t a waste of time.

    Maybe they were preparation.

    You were learning how to fall, how to rise, how to be patient with your own evolution. That counts for something — maybe even everything.

    This space is for the weary, the wondering, and the wandering. I’m not here to teach—just to share what I’m learning, while I’m still in it. Read quietly, reflect deeply, or share if it speaks to you.

    Sharing opens the path to others like us to find this little pocket of the internet. No pressure. Just presence.

    You can check out my other video game inspired works down below:

    Learning to Pick Locks Like In Video Games

    Achievement Unlocked: My First Lock Opened

    The Moment I Stopped Waiting for Permission

    The Stratagem’s Archive: You Begin Here:

    Thank You For Reaching the End

    You can preview what fellow subscribers can get first in their inboxes before everyone else as thank you for reading all the way to the end, for spending some time here, and leveling up together.

  • Error 404: Last Save Point Not Found—From 60 Consecutive Days Back to 1

    Does Starting Over Have to Suck?

    When I published a few days ago,What If Everything Just Stopped? What’s Next for The Stratagem’s Archives?, I wondered what my next move should be—things were changing, evolving, and the closer I got to completing my personal goals, the more uncertain it felt.

    I hadn’t felt compelled, fueled by that stubborn rage to write, since hitting Day 60 of my publishing streak. After reaching Day 63, my mind quieted, my emotions found a fragile equilibrium.

    Early this morning, I published a new post, expecting to see the Day 64 streak notification on Jetpack’s homepage. I didn’t. I realized that because I had stepped away for one full day, my streak had reset to zero.

    It mattered. Those streaks weren’t arbitrary—they were medals, proof that I showed up, that I pushed through exhaustion, guilt, bitterness, and the darker voices that used to push me toward harming myself. They were proof that I survived one more day of feeling small in a world that often doesn’t care what you do, as long as you keep giving until there’s nothing left.

    As a gamer, the closest analogy I have is this: losing a streak felt worse than discovering a beloved game file was corrupted. Not a “new game” choice, one you pick intentionally.

    A corrupted file is beyond your control—everything you’ve built, collected, and earned is gone, and you’re forced to start over.

    That’s how losing my two-month streak felt. Except I wasn’t starting blind this time. I carried my experience, my knowledge, and my reflections into this new chapter of life. It was terrifying, but also… liberating.

    Starting over didn’t feel explosive or loud. It was quiet, subtle, and unsettling, like flipping to a new chapter in a book without realizing that something inside me had already shifted.

    After losing my streak, I had to pause and ask myself: does starting over have to suck?

    Not just with publishing, but with every aspect of life—The Stratagems Archive, my career, my personal growth, my goals.

    My time away from writing wasn’t about punishment or frustration; it was about listening.

    Listening to the void and the quiet, to understand why silence—after years of relying on rage and compulsion to motivate myself—scares me, yet keeps me grounded.

    I’m learning I don’t have to build myself or my space out of survival anymore. I’ve already proven I can show up for myself. People have invested their time in reading what I create, quietly sitting with it, and that is validation enough.

    I can show up because I choose to, not because I have to.

    Maybe starting over isn’t a punishment at all. Maybe it’s just the next save point I didn’t recognize yet.

    Reflection For You, Fellow Archivists:

    How often do we mistake starting over for failure, when it might just be an opportunity to bring what we’ve learned into a new chapter?

    Call to Action:

    If you’ve ever had to start over—whether in work, relationships, or personal goals—take a moment to reflect on what you’re bringing forward.

    Share your thoughts below, or jot them in a journal.

    Starting over doesn’t erase what you’ve built; it amplifies the wisdom you already carry.

    Other Void Related Reflections:

    Thank You For Making It to the End

    Here are some of the projects I’ve made during my time writing. Below are: 2 manifestos, 1 ebook manifesto, sticker designs, and a hoodie design, you could explore. Thank you for making it to the end of this post. I’ll see you all in the archives later.

  • What If Everything Just Stopped? What’s Next for The Stratagem’s Archives?

    What Direction Will This Go?

    That’s been the question — one of many — I’ve been wrestling with since publishing The Void Feels Like It’s Closing In. It’s only been a full 24 hours since that post, but when your mind never rests, it can feel like days of circling the same thoughts.

    Lately, I’ve felt frustrated. Not because I’m unhappy with The Stratagem’s Archive or what I’ve built here — far from it. I’ve written every day, fought for every minute I could spare, and turned stubborn rage into creation. But now, the spark that once drove me feels dim.

    The words still come, but they don’t echo anymore.

    It’s not a lack of ideas. I have more than enough of those. It’s that I don’t feel excited to write them. I’ve been walking the same path, and the scenery hasn’t changed. I don’t like the current trajectory. I don’t like how it feels to move without wonder.

    In The Void Feels Like It’s Closing In, I wrote about shining light into emptiness — shouting into the void and getting nothing back. That feeling hasn’t gone away. The progress has slowed, the spark has dulled, and I’ve begun to wonder:

    What if I stopped shouting? What if I just listened instead?

    Maybe that’s what I need. Not more words.

    But silence sturdy enough to hold the ones I’ll write next.

    I don’t know how long I’ll step away, or what form The Stratagem’s Archive will take when I return. But I know this much: what got me this far can’t take me further. And that’s okay. Growth often begins where repetition ends.

    This isn’t the end. It’s a pause — a necessary one.

    To everyone who has read, shared, subscribed, or quietly returned to read again: thank you. Every click, every like, every minute you’ve given me has meant more than you know. I didn’t think anyone would ever find this little corner of mine, but I’m glad to have been proven wrong.

    While I won’t be posting for a while, I’ll still be around the archives — cleaning, updating, and letting the silence settle in for once. Maybe in that quiet, I’ll finally hear what comes next.

    Until then, I’ll see you all in the archives later.

    Reflection Question for Readers

    When was the last time you stopped creating, chasing, or producing — and simply listened to what silence was trying to tell you?

    Call to Action

    If you’ve been following The Stratagem’s Archive, consider liking, sharing, subscribing, sitting quietly, or revisiting your favorite posts while I’m away.

    Leave a comment about what post resonated most with you — your reflections help me see what the void is saying back.

    Thank You For Reaching the End

    Revisit Prior Posts Below

  • The Void Feels Like It’s Closing In

    Do You Ever Feel Like You’re Writing Into A Void?

    When I first wrote this, I was so excited that the light I was flashing into the void was reflecting back — that the quiet whispers I uttered in the dark were slowly being heard. People were reading the things I wrote about, and I felt confident to keep publishing, developing my own voice, and seeing where The Stratagem’s Archive could go.

    Every post, every thought, every hit to the publish button was an experiment — trial and error, but in a safer way, with low stakes but high personal rewards.

    Now, the excitement feels darker. Colder. As though the void is done playing games and is closing in on me.

    No matter how much evidence I’ve built, collected, no matter how much progress I’ve made — 100+ posts, 4 newsletters, 4 sticker designs, 2 manifestos, 1 ebook manifesto, 1 personal hoodie, and 10 very much appreciated subscribers — this brick of doubt is difficult to fight.

    Even with all the rage and restlessness I have, I can’t use the same energy to uproot this doubt like ripping out a weed or walking away from bad friendships.

    That’s the shitty thing about doubt; once it gets its claws into you, the void knows it has control over you. It can corrupt your mind with simple, innocent-sounding questions:

    “What do you have to show for yourself after all this time?”

    Maybe I’ve Outgrown a Part of Myself

    This doubt is familiar, to be honest. I felt it when I hyper-analyzed my decision to walk away from people who didn’t value me, when I permanently deleted apps I didn’t use, when I let go of the “just in case” excuses I leaned on for so long.

    I knew parts of me needed to die as I pushed forward and shed burdens off my plate. It’s possible the void feels like it’s closing in because it’s saying I’ve outgrown something.

    The problem?

    I don’t know what I outgrew.

    I started writing for me — to get every thought out of my head and into the world. If people read it, liked it, shared it, or even subscribed, that was a bonus.

    Now? It feels different. Off. I can’t explain it, but I wish I could.

    I don’t know what topics excite me anymore. I don’t know what moves me. I feel emptier than angry and restless. I feel like a fraud, and I can see the end of the life I want — free from financial burdens, full of chosen creative work, less stressed — but the path to it has blurred.

    I feel stuck, like Alice in Wonderland. I could pick any road and still reach where I need to go, yet every choice feels like a trap. Each decision feels like a noose.

    What Now?

    I don’t have answers yet. What I do know is that I don’t want to be invisible anymore. I don’t want to be ignored, and my mind refuses to accept that small progress is still progress.

    But maybe the void isn’t the enemy. Maybe it’s space being cleared for the next version of myself. Maybe what feels like silence is just a new beginning taking shape.

    Maybe I don’t need to fight the void this time.

    Maybe I just need to stop shouting into it, and start listening.

    A Reflection for You

    If you’ve ever felt like your creative work, your efforts, or your life in general were disappearing into a void — you’re not alone. Maybe it’s not failure. Maybe it’s growth disguised as emptiness.

    Take a breath. Look at everything you have done, no matter how small it feels. You’ve built something, even if it’s invisible to the world right now. You’ve shown up. You’ve persisted.

    And maybe that’s enough to start listening to what comes next.

    Call to Action

    If this post resonated with you: sit with it quietly, reflect on your own journey, and take a moment to honor yourself. Or, if you know someone who might be feeling this way, share it with them.

    You can also:

    • Like if you’ve ever felt the void closing in.
    • Subscribe to follow along as I figure this out alongside you.
    • Share this post if it might help someone else in the same place.

    Even small acts of acknowledgment matter. Even small lights can push back against the 

    Other Reflections

    Here you could check out how these thoughts started and progressed over time. Showcasing how this isn’t a one off thought, but an ever present and persistent one.

    Thanks For Making it This Far

    Here are the evidence, my little artifacts that I’ve made over these past few months. Every piece a beginning, the first footprint marked in the sand, and with room to grow. They’re my way of saying thanks for making it to the end and feel free to check them out.

    Feedback is much appreciated as I’m in this weird limbo right now. I got no idea what’s up from down, left from right, but all of this is here for your viewing irregardless of my current suspension.

  • Letters from the Void: What Have I Got to Lose?

    No One Asked, But I’m Doing It Anyway

    Hey there, Fellow Archivists,

    I’ve been working on something behind the scenes; something different than my usual posts, stickers, and even hoodie: my first ebook.

    Let me be real: I’m not an expert. I have no degrees, no viral content, and no corner office either. And, you know what, that’s okay.

    What Do I Have?

    It’s okay to not have a lot of things because what I do have makes up for it. I do have:

    • Stubbornness
    • Spiteful rage
    • A refusal to stay the same
    • A willingness to try
    • A curiosity to see what I’m capable of

    That’s what this ebook is: me starting something anyway. Building anyway. Learning as I go anyway.

    Here’s a Tiny Peek:

    “This is the question I asked myself when life got loud enough that I couldn’t ignore it anymore: What have I got to lose?

    It started as a whisper, a thought I brushed aside while I kept grinding through the motions of work and just surviving another day. But it simmered. By the time my grandpa’s funeral came around, it was shrieking in my head.

    He wasn’t old. Too young to be gone. I half-expected him to sit up and laugh like it was some bad joke. But the casket closed, and it was final. No more birthday lunches, no more music, no more teaching me how to cook. Just memories—and the weight of the regrets he had confided in me while he was still here.”

    Who Is This Book For?

    This book is for anyone who’s:

    • Tired of being stuck
    • Over being underestimated
    • Done waiting for someone else to give them permission to start

    It’s not about looking perfect or “crushing it.” It’s about showing up. One small, stubborn step at a time.

    I’ll be sharing snippets, chaos, and updates as I go. For now: it’s happening. Doubt doesn’t get a vote. Not again, even though it’s a familiar companion in my life.

    Thanks for being in this corner of the internet and writing void with me.

    —The Stratagem’s Archive

    A Call-to-Action

    Follow the chaos. Keep checking back. Keep in mind, those who are already subscribed will get these updates first and straight into their email inboxes before everyone else. If you’d like to get these updates before anyone else, then subscribe to catch the next post before it disappears into the void.

    Other Newsletters From the Void

  • More Than Muscle: What Real Strength Looks Like to Me.

    Strength isn’t just about bulging muscles or how much you can lift. It’s not about fitting into some Instagram-perfect mold or checking off a list of “womanly” or “manly” boxes. For me, real strength is something deeper — the kind that makes you stand tall when the world expects you to crumble. It’s the fire that keeps you pushing through pain, doubt, and all the noise telling you you’re not enough. This is how I’d define strength. Not just the physical, but the grit, rage, and pride that build me — every damn day.

    Not Your Idea of Strength: What I’m Really Fighting For.

    I’m not here to fit into anyone’s idea of “strong.” I’m here to be my kind of strong.

    Not just the physical kind — though yeah, I want that too. I want to feel so solid in my own skin that I forget what low self-esteem or doubt even feel like. I want my presence to scream, “I’m here, I can handle my shit”, instead of, “look at that weak, stupid bitch”.

    Growing up, I never asked to be born a girl. I was taught to not cause waves and the things I like(d) were mostly masculine — in fact, I was often told to be quiet, to hold my tongue, to not start things I couldn’t finish. I was expected to fit into a box I never chose.

    But I Refused to Stay Small

    I wanted strength that went beyond appearances — strength to stand tall when everything inside me wanted to collapse. Strength to keep going when my body ached and my mind was exhausted. Strength to say, “fuck this bullshit”, that’s been handed to me just because of my gender or my past.

    I’m proud of the scars on my arms, the callouses on my hands, the pure stubbornness that keeps me fighting even when it’s easier to give up. I’m proud of the fact that I’ve carved out my own space in a world that often tries to minimize people like me.

    This kind of strength isn’t pretty. It’s raw, messy, and sometimes it’s downright ugly. But it’s real. And it’s mine.

    If you’re tired of being underestimated, tired of being the “weak link” in someone else’s story, maybe you’ll find something here too. Maybe it’s time to stop shrinking yourself to fit what others expect and start owning your space, your voice, your story.

    I’m not perfect. I’m angry, messy, and still figuring things out. But I’m here. I’m fighting. And I’m not going anywhere.

    Maybe that’s where real strength begins.

    So here’s to owning your strength, whatever that looks like for you. Whether you’re wrestling with life, pain, or people who underestimate you — don’t let them define your power. Be proud of every scar, every hard-earned callous, and every time you choose to stand when you could have fallen. Because real strength? It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being unbreakable on your own terms. What does strength look like to you?

    If you’ve ever felt underestimated, misunderstood, or overlooked—this one’s for you. How do you reclaim your power?

    If This Resonated…

    Subscribe to the blog — I write about survival, dreaming, burnout, and why we keep going. Leave a comment — even just one word. I’d love to know what this stirred in you. Share this post — maybe someone else needs it too.

    You could also check out my first newsletter, You Heard Me Whisper — And That Means Everything. Or check out my PDF as a thank you from me to you, The Stratagem’s Manifesto

    No spam, no pressure, just sharing things I’ve made since starting this project of mine.

    Other than that, I will see you all later in the archives.

    The Whisper of a Far Off Promise — of Freedom, Choice, and Rest.

    Achievement Unlocked: My First Lock Opened

    Learning to Work With A.I. — Not Let It Think For Me