Author’s Note: This article isn’t about getting ripped. It’s about how I learned to survive life—physically, emotionally, and mentally—when the rest of the world is built for people with perfect schedules. Here is a space for those where life, for them, was anything but perfect.
Why No Existing Program Fit Me — So I Built One That Did
I’ve spent 274 weeks—yes, over five years—trying to get strong enough to handle real life, not gym life. During that time, I’ve tested almost every training program the internet and library shelves had to offer.
The numbers aren’t perfect.
The timeline isn’t perfect.
But the training never stopped.
Over 274 weeks, I’ve trained like:
- a grappler
- a calisthenics athlete
- a strongman
- a warehouse worker
- a military-inspired clod
- an MMA-inspired phony
- and sometimes, a sleep-deprived goblin running on spite.
I’ve been tracking 274 weeks of training—on paper, at least. In reality, I’ve been at this since I was 20 or 21, long enough that my original logbook disappeared at some point.
I’ve tried working out for more than an hour for 5-6 days a week. But when I got overwhelmed or too tired to train, I kept calling myself a weak bitch for not keeping up with any program standards.
The thing I learned early on was simple:
I HATED EVERYTHING I WAS DOING.
- I couldn’t afford a gym membership, so I made do with the old iron weights my dad had.
- I couldn’t buy separate groceries from the family budget, so I had to make dinner for everyone else.
- I struggle to this day to get more than two hours of restful sleep at a stretch.
- My work schedule varies day by day.
- I had pre-existing and new injuries from working a physically demanding job.
- I was burning myself out trying to keep up with personal obligations and trying to get “gym strong.”
My training fell apart constantly. I got hurt. I burned out. I forced myself to follow programs designed for people who slept eight hours, ate perfect meals, and had stable routines.
I thought I was the problem.
I thought I was weak, inconsistent, undisciplined.
Most programs don’t fail because people are weak—they fail because they don’t account for real life.
In the end, I didn’t build a training program—I built a survival system instead.
I didn’t earn my expertise from certifications. I earned it from trial, error, burnout, injuries, confusion, experimentation, and refusing to quit.
So, if you’ve ever tried a program that promised results but didn’t fit your life…
If you struggle to train around a chaotic schedule, low sleep, or a physically demanding job…
Or if you want strength that matters in the real world, not just in front of a mirror…
Then this is for you.
Here’s Why I Train to Be Chaotic Life Strong
In my previous More Than Muscle Articles, I’ve mentioned that I decided to pursue fitness my way because following standard gym programs—bench press, deadlifts, and squats—made me painfully aware of how weak I really was.
I struggled to push my cart of groceries up a slight incline without getting winded.
That embarrassed the hell out of me because I thought I could handle something so mundane because my big 3 lifts numbers were decent.
Nope. Domestic chores kicked my ass.
And I myself—if I couldn’t even do simple chores, could I really consider myself strong and healthy?
So, I started pursuing fitness from a different perspective—chaotic, unbalanced, and never ideal, but I tried to work with my situation, instead of punishing myself for being an outlier.
How I Train to Be Chaotic Life Strong
Before I continue, here’s what my training philosophy and program does NOT involve:
- Aesthetic-focused training
- Strict programming
- Discipline worship
- Gym culture
- Perfect sleep, meals, or schedules
- Hustle porn—celebrating constant grind as if exhaustion were a badge of honor
I train to:
- Do my chores without struggle
- Bear hug and lift people when I get overly excited
- Push, pull, and carry awkward freight for work weighing between 25 to over 5,000+ pounds
- Wake up with less stiffness
- Explore BJJ, calisthenics, and other things I enjoy
I’ve been training to be chaotic life strong.
Chaotic Life Strong means building the kind of strength that survives real schedules, real stress, real fatigue, and real chaos.
Strength that doesn’t rely on perfect conditions.
It’s strength you can actually use.
Author’s Note: My Conscious Trade-Offs:
I’ve accepted that, as I was developing my personal training regimen and philosophy, I had to accept some trade-offs.
My life situation doesn’t focus on 1 rep maxes, pressing or pushing or squatting a heavily loaded bar, or isolated movements. I chose to look weak on paper to conventional gym metrics because I focused more on what I wanted to achieve: adaptability, mobility, chaos induced functional training instead.
The main thing is, if I wanted to include deadlifts, bench presses, and other exercises and equipment, I have to make sure:
- I can afford it.
- It makes sense for me.
- And it’s what I want to do.
Otherwise, on the back burner it goes.
Same thing with getting professional help; if I can afford a coach to help me fine tune things or I can get certified myself instead down the line, then I have the option to do it later on.
My Survival Program to Be Chaotic Life Strong
The first thing I had to change was my attitude toward training.
I had spent years punishing myself for not being “good enough,” because someone on the internet said so, and I needed to be engaged with wanting to get stronger. Not allergically averse to my physical goals.
Here’s how I program myself to stay consistent:
- Minimum viable training: 2 days is enough
- Modular sessions: mix and match movements
- Energy-based autoregulation: go until you feel a red flag
- Movement quality over quantity
- Life-first programming: obligations never go away
- Play: ambidextrous writing, juggling, crawling, swinging sticks like a Berserker indoors
By being flexible and lenient with myself, I’ve achieved more than I ever did in my early 20s:
- My joints aren’t protesting like the 4th of July
- I can sit down and get off the floor without using my hands
- I can move fluidly and explosively, almost like Goku from Dragon Ball Z
- I can defend against my BJJ partner’s attacks so tightly that they waste energy trying to escape my grip
Nutrition for Daily Function—Not Aesthetics
Nutrition is simple: I eat what I’ll actually eat.
- Broccoli? Yes.
- Edamame? Of course.
- Thin meats? Absolutely.
- Chocolate? Always yes!
I’m not trying to lose weight or bulk for aesthetics.
I eat to function and enjoy treats without guilt.
Sometimes I fast because of low appetite.
Sometimes I drink a chocolate protein shake or a Chobani smoothie because of said low appetite.
Sometimes, I get home late from work and I’ll just eat a bowl of cereal before bed.
Flexibility and listening to my body matter more than rigid rules. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been able to keep going through more than 5 years of this ongoing experiment.
Sample Flows for Readers
Below, I’ve included sample flows that readers can try if they want:
- Mobility Flow: stretches, rolls, and controlled bodyweight movements
- Strength Flow: kettlebell or sandbag carries, bodyweight push/pull, core activation
- Chaotic Load Handling: awkward-object lifts, rotations, and full-body coordination
Try them as written or adapt to your situation. Each flow is designed to teach movement quality, strength, and real-world adaptability without rigid programming or perfect conditions.
Reflect Here, Fellow Archivists
As we get closer to the end of this article, have you considered a few things for yourself?
- “When was the last time you tried a program that didn’t fit your life?”
- “How did you adjust to pursue your own fitness goals within or without a standard program for your life constraints?”
- “Have you encountered something that made you think that being gym strong wasn’t enough for life?”
- “If so, how did it change your perspective on what being strong means to you?”
In Conclusion
I didn’t want to push five times my body weight and struggle with groceries.
I didn’t want to stand on my hands if I struggled to stand on my own two feet.
I didn’t want to give up things I liked because someone on the internet said I should.
I wanted to explore what my body could do while I still had the strength.
I wanted to take life head-on and say:
“This sucks, but life’s gonna have to push back harder to get me to back down.”
If You Made It to the End
I appreciate your dedication to finishing things to the end, Fellow Archivists. This article is a brief share of my five-year journey of trial, error, and experimentation.
It’s a living system, always evolving as my life changes.
Feel free to like, subscribe, comment, or quietly reflect on your own journey.
Try the sample flows. If they work, great. If they don’t, hey—that’s still valuable feedback.
Thank you for spending your time here. And I’ll see you all later in the archives.
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