The Stratagem’s Archive

Tag: expression

  • I Made Small Tangible Artifacts of the Archive

    Welcome — However You Found Your Way Here

    The Excitement Is Real

    A few days ago, I had shared in my post, Two Manifestos + A Gift (For Fellow Archivists), that I was working on something exciting, and I promised more than words. I promised proof — proof that this archive is alive, that it grows, and that I’m daring myself to do things I never thought I’d do.

    So here it is:

    Two manifestos — The Stratagem’s Manifesto 1.0, The Stratagem’s Manifesto 1.5.

    And now, four sticker designs.

    I finally have them!!! The extra $25 for express shipping was worth it!!!

    They started as experiments on Canva. Just sketches of ideas, small reflections made visual. But I decided to make them real. To hold something in my hands that wasn’t just another file on my laptop and I paid for express shipping so I could experience them sooner.

    Now they exist — 24 of each design, 96 stickers total. That’s it. Two sheets are already heading with me to work, to share with coworkers who’ve been curious about this project. The other 56 stickers are for anyone else who wants one.

    This isn’t merch. It’s not a launch. It’s my way of saying thank you. For subscribing. For reading. For coming back quietly, even if you’ve never left a comment. For letting this space mean something beyond myself.

    If you’d like one, let me know in the comments or send me an email at whatimtryingoutnow@gmail.com. I’ll respond as soon as I can and will figure out how to ship them.

    The Spark That Started It All

    While I was playing around with Canva to make my stickers using the AI tools, I asked myself two questions before printing these:

    • If not now, then when?
    • If not me, then why not me?

    I’d put things off, never follow through with some projects, then hate myself for chickening out. It would be the typical, “I have time to do it later,” lie then never do it out of fear.

    Then I’d go to the other extreme and be like, “If I could do this, then why can’t I do that?” And I’d push myself to do something purely to see if I could be the one to finish a project. For example, The Stratagem’s Manifesto 1.0 was made in a day, The Stratagem’s Manifesto 1.5 took less than a week, and now I’m working on an ebook. All to see what I could do.

    That’s how these stickers came to be. I have other designs I’m saving money for, below are what they look like that I’ve made for my blog, to have, and to share:

    Next print
    Next print
    Next print

    These new sticker designs encapsulate the reality behind my blog and how it was made. It was born from boredom, written by rage, and held up by spite.

    Nothing more, nothing less.

    If these little projects of mine are well received, then I’ll do what my coworker asked me to do and see if I could sell these on my blog and at my part time rage room job. I told him these were gifts first and foremost, then I’ll see if I’ll follow through with monetizing them through work.

    For now, I’m just excited that something of mine is real, in my hands, and ready to share. Something I’ve never, ever, done before. Although, I’ll probably hold off with shipping just stickers because they’ll easily get lost through the shipping facility.

    Maybe I’ll reconsider the sending the thank yous with only a sticker once I can make more stuff: keychains, book markers, and/or printing out my manifestos for more weight. I’ll have to see how this goes, now that I thought it through.

    I’m practically daring myself to try new things out and these sticker ideas, tangible and intangible, are the first step in doing something new.

    And maybe, just maybe, trying something new is how the rest of this archive will keep growing too.

    — Stratagem’s Archive

    Call to Action:

    If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Whether you’re a subscriber, a silent reader, or just wandering through for the first time, you’re part of what keeps this archive alive.

    Subscribers get early looks at new ideas, experiments, and the strange little things I’m building here — manifestos, reflections, and the occasional gift (like stickers) shared through my newsletters, Letters from the Void Newsletter, first before everyone else. It’s my way of sharing the process, not just the polished or structured parts.

    If you’d like to join, you can subscribe wherever the button is on the page. If not, that’s okay too — coming back to read is more than enough. Either way, I’m grateful you’re here.

    Update Note:

    My hoodie came in!!! This one was a personal thing, so yeah.

    Also, my hoodie came in!!! Paying the extra $25 for express shipping was worth it! Thank god I was home in time to receive it, I wouldn’t want anyone taking my package because it’s out in front of my door. If I had a way of dealing with package pirates while away, then no one would take things that doesn’t belong to them again. But it didn’t come to that.

    The hoodie is a personal thing that I wanted, so I don’t know if I’ll branch out with these just yet.

    I liked how it came out, and I can wear it in my apartment. Not ready to show my family what I’ve been spending my money on, let alone share them my blog. That’s a whole different dare I’m not willing to do just yet.

    I’m still looking for someone to help me make book markers and keychains that are affordable and good quality. I’m not in a rush, though knowing someone would help make those become reality too.

  • Do You Ever Feel Like You’re Writing Into A Void?

    I just wonder if anyone feels the same – that we’re sharing, but not connecting as we might have thought we were, expert or not.

    -The Stratagem’s Archives

    Are We Sharing, Or Just Speaking Into the Void?

    I had always wanted to start a blog; it was something I wanted to do since high school, but never pursued it. After years of wishing, wanting, and agonizing over why I wasn’t good enough to write, I finally hit that “publish” button in late June of 2025.

    This was an idea that lingered — something I told myself I’d do one day, when I had more time, more to say, or more certainty about what I even wanted to write.

    I finally stopped waiting, I finally gave myself a chance and do something new, even though it scared me.

    When I first started writing, I thought I learned enough to share what strategies I use for my own life and that I could share my ideas and thought with other people.

    However, I’m not an expert, I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time, and I’m okay with this.

    I’ve created this space to become my personal archive — a place where I share what I’m learning, what I’m unlearning, and what I’m still sitting with. It’s not always neat. It’s not always deep. But it’s mine, it’s real, and that’s enough for me.

    Still, sometimes I wonder:

    Are we really connecting in these spaces, or are we all just publishing and scrolling past each other?

    I’m not upset about it. It’s something else.

    It’s more like… curiosity mixed with quiet disappointment.

    Like when you wave at someone across the street and they kind of wave back, but you’re not sure they even saw you.

    I see “likes” on my posts, and I’m grateful. I really am.

    But sometimes I wonder:

    Did anyone actually read it? Did what I write sit with them like it sat with me when I wrote it?

    Because when I click “like” on someone else’s post, I’ve read it.

    I’ve usually felt something.

    Sometimes I comment. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. But I try to engage, because I came here to do more than just tap and scroll.

    What Were We Hoping For?

    When we started these blogs — whether on a whim, in a spiral, during burnout, or because of that one night where the urge to write finally won — what did we hope would happen?

    I think a lot of us wanted to:

    • Share what’s on our minds.
    • Feel less alone.
    • Maybe build a quiet corner where people think similar to us.

    And I still believe that’s possible.

    But connection, real connection, seems harder to come by than we expected. At least, to me it is. It’s not automatic, not even in this age of platforms and algorithms.

    I write because I’m afraid of wasting my life and having nothing to show for it.

    I’m afraid of watching life slip by while I waste it — even if I end up wasting it by:

    • Procrastinating.
    • Getting easily distracted.
    • Filling my time with “productive habits and activities” that aren’t going anywhere right now.

    But I choose to write, I make things, I learn something new and interesting, and I archive my thoughts. I press publish — even when I don’t know if anyone’s reading.

    This Isn’t a Call for Validation

    It’s a moment of wondering:

    • Do you feel this too?
    • Do you feel the same, that we’re writing into some void?
    • Does it feel like writing, hitting publish, and simply waiting to be noticed by someone feels like a knife driven into your chest?

    If you’re reading this, and it resonates, I’d love to hear what keeps you writing.

    Or what you hoped your blog would be when you started, or simply say, “hi”, in the comments below..

    If you’d like to check out any of my other works, just to take a look, then these other articles might give you more pieces to the puzzle I’m trying to unravel and decipher myself below.

    Real fast before you move on, a few questions if you’d please:

    What post of mine stuck with you—and why?”

    “What would you want to see more of?”

    “Would you support this space if I offered a way to?”

    Until then — thanks for reading, even silently. The archives will be closing now, and I’ll see you when the archives opens again.

  • How I Reworked Old Art After a Long Break From Drawing

    Back From a Long Creative Hiatus:

    Welcome, Co-conspirators, the Stratagem’s Archives are now open for perusing. Today, I will be shifting the topics over to creative outlets and will be presenting a remastering of old sketches.

    Not only will I be remastering a sketch and presenting them here, but I will also create a new sketch of the same source material that will include: shading, coloring, and perspective, using traditional methods. I will be using printer paper, a mechanical pencil with 0.5mm lead, and Crayola colored pencils.

    I had taught myself years prior using references, watching YouTube videos (AKA Mark Crilley), video games, animation, and books. Although, I have always been highly critical of my work, I am willing to share my progress and the steps I’ll be taking to improve my current skills.

    The sketches that I will be showcasing here can be considered fan art for a text based reading game called, “The Samurai of Hyuga” from Choice of Games LLC’s second app, “Hosted Games LLC” by Devon Connell.

    Text Based Game Inspiration

    The characters below are the potential romantic love interest(s), friend, enemy, or ex-lover of the player character. It depends on how you, the player, interact with the story and which kinds of relationships you want to pursue with the characters.

    They each have their role in the story and, at the time of this writing, “The Samurai of Hyuga” has 5 books. I’m waiting to see how the story progresses, however, this is how I envisioned the following characters to look like.

    Momoko Hayami and Junko Uesugi have confirmed sketches provided by the author and the artist that works on their projects. But my sketches were before those official concept arts were released.

    From Right to Left: The Doctor, Momoko Hayami; The Ronin, Junko Uesugi; The Kunoichi, Toshie. Drawn on 12/23/2017

    The following project will be using The Ronin, Junko Uesugi, as my reference. The picture above is Junko being introduced in the ending of Book 1 and in the beginning of Book 2. I do have another sketch of her, made three years later, with how I had imagined she’d appear in book 4.

    There is a blank space to the left because I was going to include a background years prior. But I gave up on that because I liked how Junko came out here. I didn’t want to ruin this drawing by doing something I believed I was going to mess up on. However, for this coming project, that is going to change.

    Several New Artistic Challenge to Undertake!

    So, with these new artistic challenges, I’ll be showing my step-by-step process in creating a new “Junko Uesugi” with a dynamic poses, adding a background, including color, and shading. The first thing I will show will be the pose itself and how the baseline will be starting out.

    The “skeletal” base for Junko Uesugi from “The Samurai of Hyuga”: 7/29/25

    I’ve never used to use a baseline to draw before, but it felt appropriate here. I wanted to challenge myself, and challenged I was when starting this out. In the past, using shapes and lines to map out the body, proportions, and angles was strange and I thought that it wasn’t necessary.

    You could probably tell that I didn’t properly learn art, but learned from watching anime, cartoons, and playing video games.

    I’ve been searching on YouTube for tips and advice that could help me with improving drawing dynamic poses and came across “YTartschool” that mentions to use asymmetry because symmetry is what will throw everything off.

    “JustinArts” mentioned to use myself as a reference by taking pictures, which I’ve done in the past, though I hope I’ll be able to personally capture, not only the pose, the right emotion I want to create.

    Hopefully, as I add more details, I’ll be able to figure out how to focus on depth and perspective. I’m so used to using a more forward facing profile that I struggled to get a side front profile. I’ve usually started from the head and neck down, but I started from the hips and shoulders, then worked my way upwards.

    Adding details to the “skeleton”: 7/29/25

    So much of this process is new to me: the pose, the body placements, just figuring out the proportions is difficult for me because I’m just used to jumping into things and going from there. If you were to look at my previous above examples, you could see that they’re all static, stiff, and lacks dynamism.

    I’m seeing that this draft looks good so far, but I am doing my best to not jinx myself or criticize before I can get the details in.

    More details to Junko Uesugi: 7/29/25

    Okay, this came out better than I thought, but I’m getting nervous the more I work on this project. Besides anatomy, perspective, profiles, and everything else needed to make good to great art, I didn’t teach myself to learn clothing, fabrics, and how they crease or flow.

    I could have used my own gauze to see how it would look wrapped around a person live, or used a blanket for the pants, but I went with an easier option. I just drew lines and made sure it follows the curves of the body, so I have another project to pursue next time!

    In Conclusion

    After not having drawn anything for what felt like years, I have grown pleasantly surprised with how this project came out.

    Most likely I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I can’t learn or see my mistakes if I don’t make things and see where needs work.

    So, I’ll be making part 2 and post it at a later date. Very likely I’ll make a few copies of this sketch so that, when I work on the backgrounds, shading, and color, I have backups to use in case I can’t undo my mistakes like digital art can.

    If you’ve been away from your creative and artistic outlet, then let me know in the comments below; what got you back into the activity, what did you make recently, and what your thoughts were from such a long hiatus?

    Thank you for taking the time to look over my progress and reading my process. The archives will now be closing and I’ll see you in part 2!

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  • A.I. Was Taking Over My Writing Life — I Had to Pull Myself Back

    Pocket Full of “Answers”: How Using Google’s Gemini Shrank My Mind

    Welcome, Co-conspirators, to the Stratagem’s Archives. Today I’ll be sharing my experiences when using Google’s Gemini and how it’s been affecting me. I can’t consider myself a “True Mastermind” if I delegate my thinking to an external database. So, I’m here to reclaim my self-proclaimed title by doing what I should have done from the beginning – Thinking for myself – and having my work, my ability to write, tell stories, come up with ideas, and string coherent sentences, be judged than be seen as “perfect” with A.I.

    Disclaimer: I am not a cyber analyst, engineer, nor great with technology. I’m great at using Google’s search bar. Anything else, I’m abysmal at, so please consult with professionals or someone worth their salt if you’re looking for a proper tutorial. I’m here to share, but not to that level yet. Thanks!

    The Codependency is Real, Co-conspirators…

    If you refer to my previous blog articles here in The Archives, then you will see a massive difference between my writing – messy, distracted, and long winded, a reflection of how the writer speaks in person – and using A.I.

    I used AI to check for grammatical errors, improve the writing format to match this blog’s “Mastermind/Villain/Autodidact” tone, and realizing “my idea” became “it’s work” instead.

    When I had compared my writings in the Archives, I had noticed that, despite my own biases, I was reading something a person wrote; the writing isn’t professional, it’s full of mistakes, and takes awhile to get to the point.

    When reading something generated by an A.I. it feels empty, like I’m reading words, but no emotion is stirred within me: no call to action, no call to fight some injustice, nothing arises.

    A Side by Side Comparison:

    This comparison can be easily seen in my earlier blog post, 2025 is Nearly Over! A 6-Month Reflection & Projecting Ahead. I can candidly share that the majority of that article had been rewritten after being examined by Gemini.

    I didn’t like what I wrote, I thought that my real work would lose people’s interest or attention, as this is my first real project being shared publicly. I struggle to write anything engaging or interesting without running off tangent, which happens often, and is apparent in my first two articles.

    Here in the article, “2025 is Nearly Over! A 6-Month Reflection & Projecting Ahead”, I didn’t finish the entire rewrite because I got lazy, bored, and distracted. I had other ideas I wanted to pursue and, just rewriting the text and switching back and forth between tabs, took a lot of time. It took a lot of time because:

    1. It takes me days, maybe weeks, to finish one article draft to completion, then look for grammatical errors or polish it up through Gemini.
    2. I have to copy and paste each header and block here on the WordPress/Jetpack app individually into Gemini’s text box because I can’t highlight the entire text to copy and paste.
    3. After inputting my work and have Gemini look it over, I am practically starting over from scratch. If it took me days to write the original text, then what I’m doing doubles the time redoing everything and copying the “answers” Gemini provided was better than anything I could ever come up with.

    While everything being provided sounded better in comparison to what I came up with, it took 1 video to snap me back to reality. I was stunting my own growth and, where I was heading, my future looked bleak and blank.

    What Prompted The Stratagem’s Archives to Share This?

    That’s a very good question! Thank you for asking that, Friend. I’m definitely not pantomiming an imaginary conversation. Nope, not me. I was prompted to write this post while listening to The Bioneer on YouTube. His video, “THIS is the Most Powerful Form of Brain Training – Stay Ahead of AI!”, made me realize that I was neglecting my own skills, my own ability to learn, and grow.

    I was actively stunting my own growth – replacing potential ideas, my words, my voice, and conversational and therapeutic help – for fast results. I used something that actively agreed with everything I typed, and it didn’t provide a counterargument or challenged my thoughts. I had an intangible “Yes Man” in my pocket, not a helper.

    After The Bioneer’s video ended, I got up to brush my teeth, then I was hit with an idea. It was for a text based game idea I called, “Return to the World”; the synopsis is about the player character living in isolation for some time and heavily relying on their artificial assistant “R.O.A.M.” (Ready Optimal Artificial Mediator).

    After a system error shuts R.O.A.M. Down, you, as the player, has to relearn how to take care of yourself almost from scratch, slowly developing skills that became dormant from a lack of use and, as the title claims, you are returning to reality and its complexities.

    That is what I am declaring here – I will reclaim and share my personality, reactivate dormant skills, learn new skills out of genuine curiosity, and become an authentic Mastermind – I had been confused when I had started The Stratagem’s Archives, originally known as “Plans2Action”.

    I thought that I had to be a real life villain to be engaging.That being inspired by fictional villainy and twisting this concept on its head, maybe I’ve been describing an anti-villain or anti-hero this whole time, to have an outline to follow. But I’m not cut to intentionally be a real life villain, and being a hero is unappealing to me.

    Instead, I’d rather be a wild card – I can still work my way up to be a “True Mastermind”, but not in the same way I had been throughout most of my blog posts – diving into new ventures and sharing them here. Being intentional with what I choose to do and not do, rather than trying to take over the world.

    Any Upsides to A.I. Though?

    Reawakening dormant skills will take work and, while I will be actively working to reduce my over reliance on using A.I., it has a time and place just like any other tool. You can use a fork to eat cereal, but a spoon would be more effective.

    I think A.I. has been able to help me identify things I could describe, but lacked the proper vocabulary for. For example, when writing my last article, The Stratagem Begins: From Scarcity to Financial Empowerment: Part 1:, I couldn’t figure out what a specific feeling was called and needed help. I typed in Gemini, asking it, “What is that visceral feeling you get when you are using physical cash to pay for something instead of using a credit or debt card?” And it gave me the term called, “the pain of paying”: a well-known phenomenon in behavioral economics made known when paying with physical cash as opposed to using a credit or debit card.

    This term, though I didn’t do further research into this phenomenon, perfectly described the feeling I felt when I had started to pay with cash to prevent increasing my revolving debt. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, I can feel my wallet grow lighter, and the consequence of having a set amount of money at hand forces me to prioritize my needs from my wants.

    Anything Else to Add?

    In conclusion, A.I. may have muddled my mind, I must train myself to strike a balance with it supplementing my work than having it write it for me.

    A.I. still has its uses, it still has a time and place, but over relying on it can shrink your mind, skills, and narrow your perspective. That’s my opinion, at least.

    Work on your own skills, have stories to tell, share them with your own personal flair, rather than delegating that option to A.I. Let it be a tool, not the solution. Let it help, not infantilize you and take over your life.

    If you’ve had similar experiences with A.I., or are overcoming an A.I. dependency, share how you’ve been using A.I., how it’s been affecting you, and your journey to find a middle ground in the comments below. With that said, The Archives will be closing. Until we open again!

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