The Stratagem’s Archive

Tag: Blogging journey

  • Error 404: Last Save Point Not Found—From 60 Consecutive Days Back to 1

    Does Starting Over Have to Suck?

    When I published a few days ago,What If Everything Just Stopped? What’s Next for The Stratagem’s Archives?, I wondered what my next move should be—things were changing, evolving, and the closer I got to completing my personal goals, the more uncertain it felt.

    I hadn’t felt compelled, fueled by that stubborn rage to write, since hitting Day 60 of my publishing streak. After reaching Day 63, my mind quieted, my emotions found a fragile equilibrium.

    Early this morning, I published a new post, expecting to see the Day 64 streak notification on Jetpack’s homepage. I didn’t. I realized that because I had stepped away for one full day, my streak had reset to zero.

    It mattered. Those streaks weren’t arbitrary—they were medals, proof that I showed up, that I pushed through exhaustion, guilt, bitterness, and the darker voices that used to push me toward harming myself. They were proof that I survived one more day of feeling small in a world that often doesn’t care what you do, as long as you keep giving until there’s nothing left.

    As a gamer, the closest analogy I have is this: losing a streak felt worse than discovering a beloved game file was corrupted. Not a “new game” choice, one you pick intentionally.

    A corrupted file is beyond your control—everything you’ve built, collected, and earned is gone, and you’re forced to start over.

    That’s how losing my two-month streak felt. Except I wasn’t starting blind this time. I carried my experience, my knowledge, and my reflections into this new chapter of life. It was terrifying, but also… liberating.

    Starting over didn’t feel explosive or loud. It was quiet, subtle, and unsettling, like flipping to a new chapter in a book without realizing that something inside me had already shifted.

    After losing my streak, I had to pause and ask myself: does starting over have to suck?

    Not just with publishing, but with every aspect of life—The Stratagems Archive, my career, my personal growth, my goals.

    My time away from writing wasn’t about punishment or frustration; it was about listening.

    Listening to the void and the quiet, to understand why silence—after years of relying on rage and compulsion to motivate myself—scares me, yet keeps me grounded.

    I’m learning I don’t have to build myself or my space out of survival anymore. I’ve already proven I can show up for myself. People have invested their time in reading what I create, quietly sitting with it, and that is validation enough.

    I can show up because I choose to, not because I have to.

    Maybe starting over isn’t a punishment at all. Maybe it’s just the next save point I didn’t recognize yet.

    Reflection For You, Fellow Archivists:

    How often do we mistake starting over for failure, when it might just be an opportunity to bring what we’ve learned into a new chapter?

    Call to Action:

    If you’ve ever had to start over—whether in work, relationships, or personal goals—take a moment to reflect on what you’re bringing forward.

    Share your thoughts below, or jot them in a journal.

    Starting over doesn’t erase what you’ve built; it amplifies the wisdom you already carry.

    Other Void Related Reflections:

    Thank You For Making It to the End

    Here are some of the projects I’ve made during my time writing. Below are: 2 manifestos, 1 ebook manifesto, sticker designs, and a hoodie design, you could explore. Thank you for making it to the end of this post. I’ll see you all in the archives later.

  • The Void Feels Like It’s Closing In

    Do You Ever Feel Like You’re Writing Into A Void?

    When I first wrote this, I was so excited that the light I was flashing into the void was reflecting back — that the quiet whispers I uttered in the dark were slowly being heard. People were reading the things I wrote about, and I felt confident to keep publishing, developing my own voice, and seeing where The Stratagem’s Archive could go.

    Every post, every thought, every hit to the publish button was an experiment — trial and error, but in a safer way, with low stakes but high personal rewards.

    Now, the excitement feels darker. Colder. As though the void is done playing games and is closing in on me.

    No matter how much evidence I’ve built, collected, no matter how much progress I’ve made — 100+ posts, 4 newsletters, 4 sticker designs, 2 manifestos, 1 ebook manifesto, 1 personal hoodie, and 10 very much appreciated subscribers — this brick of doubt is difficult to fight.

    Even with all the rage and restlessness I have, I can’t use the same energy to uproot this doubt like ripping out a weed or walking away from bad friendships.

    That’s the shitty thing about doubt; once it gets its claws into you, the void knows it has control over you. It can corrupt your mind with simple, innocent-sounding questions:

    “What do you have to show for yourself after all this time?”

    Maybe I’ve Outgrown a Part of Myself

    This doubt is familiar, to be honest. I felt it when I hyper-analyzed my decision to walk away from people who didn’t value me, when I permanently deleted apps I didn’t use, when I let go of the “just in case” excuses I leaned on for so long.

    I knew parts of me needed to die as I pushed forward and shed burdens off my plate. It’s possible the void feels like it’s closing in because it’s saying I’ve outgrown something.

    The problem?

    I don’t know what I outgrew.

    I started writing for me — to get every thought out of my head and into the world. If people read it, liked it, shared it, or even subscribed, that was a bonus.

    Now? It feels different. Off. I can’t explain it, but I wish I could.

    I don’t know what topics excite me anymore. I don’t know what moves me. I feel emptier than angry and restless. I feel like a fraud, and I can see the end of the life I want — free from financial burdens, full of chosen creative work, less stressed — but the path to it has blurred.

    I feel stuck, like Alice in Wonderland. I could pick any road and still reach where I need to go, yet every choice feels like a trap. Each decision feels like a noose.

    What Now?

    I don’t have answers yet. What I do know is that I don’t want to be invisible anymore. I don’t want to be ignored, and my mind refuses to accept that small progress is still progress.

    But maybe the void isn’t the enemy. Maybe it’s space being cleared for the next version of myself. Maybe what feels like silence is just a new beginning taking shape.

    Maybe I don’t need to fight the void this time.

    Maybe I just need to stop shouting into it, and start listening.

    A Reflection for You

    If you’ve ever felt like your creative work, your efforts, or your life in general were disappearing into a void — you’re not alone. Maybe it’s not failure. Maybe it’s growth disguised as emptiness.

    Take a breath. Look at everything you have done, no matter how small it feels. You’ve built something, even if it’s invisible to the world right now. You’ve shown up. You’ve persisted.

    And maybe that’s enough to start listening to what comes next.

    Call to Action

    If this post resonated with you: sit with it quietly, reflect on your own journey, and take a moment to honor yourself. Or, if you know someone who might be feeling this way, share it with them.

    You can also:

    • Like if you’ve ever felt the void closing in.
    • Subscribe to follow along as I figure this out alongside you.
    • Share this post if it might help someone else in the same place.

    Even small acts of acknowledgment matter. Even small lights can push back against the 

    Other Reflections

    Here you could check out how these thoughts started and progressed over time. Showcasing how this isn’t a one off thought, but an ever present and persistent one.

    Thanks For Making it This Far

    Here are the evidence, my little artifacts that I’ve made over these past few months. Every piece a beginning, the first footprint marked in the sand, and with room to grow. They’re my way of saying thanks for making it to the end and feel free to check them out.

    Feedback is much appreciated as I’m in this weird limbo right now. I got no idea what’s up from down, left from right, but all of this is here for your viewing irregardless of my current suspension.

  • The 24-Hour Challenge Aftermath—Something Unexpected Happened in Just One Night

    “I took a 29-hour break from writing to rest and recharge. In this reflection, I explore how stepping away helped me find clarity, face uncertainty, and rethink creativity sustainably.”

    The Mental Reset Hit Me Hard

    A day ago, I finally followed through on a challenge I had written about in three previous posts:

    I was to take 24 hours away from writing and let my mind and body rest. I had ignored my own advice before, rushing back to my blog the second I posted, thinking every second offline was wasted.

    This time, I made it work. I rested. I spent time with my family. I cleaned, I laughed, I ate a proper meal, I even napped. And yes, I went 29 hours instead of 24. But that extra five hours didn’t just extend the challenge — it shifted something in me.

    After publishing my reflection, I found myself staring at my iPad while eating leftovers and thinking:

    “I have no idea what I want to talk about now…”

    Facing the Blank Space

    “But Archivist,” you might ask, “didn’t you already write a reflection?”

    Yes, I did, my pantomiming reader that’s not speaking in my voice. But that was the short-term reflection. Today, in the quiet aftermath, I’m staring at the long-term questions: What comes next? Tomorrow? This week? Next month? Later in the future?

    It’s disorienting. I could keep looking at the next post like a ticking clock, but I don’t want to. I want to feel my way into what matters next — without forcing it.

    Something Unexpected Happened

    What I realized is that rest isn’t just about stepping away. It’s about creating space to notice what you haven’t been seeing. In those 29 hours, I:

    Rediscovered the pleasure of cleaning my own space. Ate without distraction. Spent uninterrupted time with family. Fixed small hazards I’d been ignoring, like moldy shower curtains.

    And in doing all of that, I noticed something bigger: stepping away recharges more than your body. It clears the mental fog that makes even your own words feel heavy.

    The Long-Term Challenge

    So now I’m staring at the future — at the blank screen of tomorrow. And that’s okay. The uncertainty isn’t failure; it’s possibility. It’s permission to explore, experiment, and figure out what resonates, both for me and for the people who quietly follow this corner of the internet.

    I don’t need to have the answers today. I just need to keep showing up — sometimes writing, sometimes resting, sometimes reflecting — and trusting that both the quiet readers and the new ones will find value in the journey.

    Reflection & Call to Action

    Maybe you’ve felt the same way: the fatigue, the pressure to produce, the moment where even your own passion feels foreign. You’re not alone. Rest isn’t giving up. Uncertainty isn’t failure. Both are part of creating sustainably.

    If this resonates with you, drop a comment, share your own experiences, or subscribe to follow along. Every interaction helps others find this little corner of the internet, and reminds us that creativity, rest, and reflection can coexist.

    Keep showing up. Keep exploring. Keep letting the blank pages teach you what matters next.

    My Thanks to All Who Found Themselves Here at the End

    Thank you for taking the time to read this post from the beginning to end. You could have spent your time doing anything else, but you chose to spend it here in this little pocket of the internet with me.

    I’d like to share with all you readers a few things that I’ve made that you can check out at anytime curiosity strikes.

    No pressure, no guilt, just for whenever you feel like looking into the gifts I’ve prepared here.

    Other Posts You Could Check Out