The Stratagem’s Archive

Tag: blogging

  • The Stratagem’s Archives Exist on Ko-fi

    Separating Thinking and Doing With Different Platforms

    The Stratagem’s Archive didn’t start out to be a business or a promotional thing. 

    The Archives started out as a pressure valve—to get the backlog of thoughts out of my head and avoid rotting me from the inside out.

    During a new point in my day, I was led to explore another platform:

    Ko-fi.

    I made a Ko-fi account on a whim—even made a business PayPal account to keep my anonymity, to feel like I’m making progress in my life.

    Making a Ko-fi account gave me a few questions I wanted to answer:

    • Could external support be possible for the archives if presented?
    • What would I do with this Ko-fi account?

    I chose to separate my creative endeavors—my sketches and expanded D&D content and artistic learning curves—from my thinking out loud writing that exists on my blog.

    It wasn’t as easy a decision for me to make because I thought Ko-fi was a social media account. I still don’t have social media; however, Ko-fi gets discovered through social sharing.

    Thus came my third question to answer; 

    • Could The Archives on Ko-fi be found organically?

    That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out for the last 2 weeks now. I wanted to share that The Archives are slowly expanding and so are my personal skills.

    How My Ko-fi Account Was Really Born

    I’ve been recently presented with an opportunity to tap into my creativity, and I don’t know how to feel about it.

    A coworker showed me a design that looked uneven, she was struggling to adjust it because she’s not used to drawing, and asked if I could help.

    Granted, I told my coworker that I haven’t made anything in years—I’ve mostly drew with paper, colored pencils, and a 0.5mm mechanical pencil—and it had been just as long since I drew digitally on my iPad using Procreate. 

    My artistic skills were rusty and severely lacking; I never formally or informally learned to draw, but I was willing to take up the challenge of helping my coworker out.

    She forgot to send me her blueprints for what she wanted, but I went off of memory and made my own similar design.

    I liked how it came out. 

    My very first illustration of the new year. “A Shaka For a Friend.”

    It was simple, the colors surprisingly popped, it took me 2 days to clean up, but the design was initially completed in 30-40 minutes.

    My coworker was the first person, outside of family and polite acquaintances, who liked my work. I felt a small spark of happiness I thought was dead for years.

    How This Opportunity Gave Me Options to Explore

    My coworker has had her own online business for more than 10 years and she told me that some businesses were looking for designers to make things for them.

    She admitted that she pays $400+ per design she likes and she was looking for a new permanent designer to work with her. My brain perked up.

    Did I volunteer to be her new designer?

    Nope.

    I know my skills aren’t very professional, they’re very basic, and I’m still learning to use Procreate.

    I’ve seen what kinds of things she has in her online store and I definitely am not the best fit for her.

    Instead, I chose to showcase my work online, much like my blog and my writing, just to show it exists.

    I’m not officially building a portfolio; I’m not actively looking to become a graphic designer; I’m not trying to make Ko-fi the thing that gets me out of my current jobs financially or schedule wise.

    I figured Ko-fi was the best place to explore and share the things I’m making online. In my opinion, Ko-fi is like Fiverr, but for very creative minds and works of various art, skills, and knowledge. 

    Both WordPress/Jetpack and Ko-fi are the same containers:

    The work exists; support is optional and much appreciated, and this is the fundamental rule I consistently follow.

    But if anyone is curious to see what my Ko-fi page looks like—I’m steadily adding more visual artifacts on Ko-fi—click the button below.

    Explore The Archives on Ko-fi

    This space holds things I’m learning by doing.

    Support is optional and helps keep the Archive expanding.

    Explore The Archives Here

  • Why The Stratagem’s Manifesto 1.1 Exists (and What It Means for Me, and Maybe You)

    Manifesto 1.1 is an Extension, Not a Remake of 1.0

    I’ve been working on this quietly for some time. My PDFs, my manifestos, the book project that I shelved for the seventh time—they’ve mostly existed in the background, supported by my own effort, time, and energy.

    I haven’t relied on anyone else to keep them alive, not from pride, just that this matters to me. And that’s been fine on its own.

    But Manifesto 1.1 is Different.

    It isn’t more polished than 1.0. It isn’t inspiring or comforting. It doesn’t promise answers or solutions or a system. It feels grittier compared to Manifesto 1.0. And it isn’t an upgrade in confidence—it’s an upgrade in honesty.

    Manifesto 1.1 exists because I reached the edge of my endurance.

    Because I realized that surviving, showing up, keeping going—that alone wasn’t enough. I wanted to mark that reality. I wanted to name it.

    And I wanted to test something new: could honesty exist in the wild, outside of my own labor, and be supported by the people who resonate with it? 

    That’s all.

    Nothing more.

    No promise.

    No guide.

    Just a marker— a small experiment in trust and audience connection.

    The pay-what-you-want model with Ko-fi isn’t about money.

    It’s about seeing if people will engage with something that doesn’t instruct, sell hope, or claim mastery.

    It’s about creating a space for recognition without performance.

    I Don’t Know What Will Come of This.

    Maybe it resonates. 

    Maybe it doesn’t. 

    Maybe no one contributes. 

    Maybe someone does. 

    None of that changes the work itself.

    The realizations I wrote, the marker I laid down—it stands on its own.

    This is the first time I’ve tried this. And I wanted to share it because it matters to me to document it, even if the results are quiet. 

    Even if it lands in unexpected ways. 

    Even if the impact is invisible.

    ,So Manifesto 1.1 exists. It marks a moment. It tests boundaries. And it reminds me—reminds anyone who reads it—that endurance isn’t enough, honesty is necessary, and showing up counts, even if it doesn’t move the world.

    A Note on Manifesto 1.1

    This PDF is a continuation of Manifesto 1.0 — a record of my reflections and realizations as I navigated endurance, constraint, and stagnation.

    It doesn’t promise solutions or hope. It’s a little grittier, a little rawer, because it names the limits of surviving and enduring for long stretches of time.

    “This is the artifact. It marks a moment. Support is optional. Thank you all the same.”

    Click Here to Read Manifesto 1.1

    Explore The Archives

    Below are my other artifacts you can explore freely here on this blog to compare how Manifesto 1.1 evolved from previous manifestos.

    Note:

    The experiment with Ko-fi didn’t fail, I rushed to do this experiment. I figured I had spent enough time online—writing, Canva, Procreate, everything—thinking 7 months later would allow me to try new things and seeing if writing honestly and producing a means to support the archives could co-exist.

    More than a week later, after I made my Ko-fi account, I wasn’t doing much with it. Once I’m able to create enough evidence for myself, make 2 artifacts outside of my PDFs that could be valuable to someone else, then I’ll come back to seeing how to support the archives outside of my own efforts again.

  • Oh, Ho, Ho, Ho, No! The Christmas Tree From October Came Back: Time For Panic Reflecting and Things I’ve Learned in 2025

    It Was Signaling The Beginning of An Inevitable End

    That Christmas tree I saw at work back in October was a menace. We didn’t get to Halloween or Thanksgiving when it came through on the conveyor belt and, once it was sorted and shipped to wherever it needed to go, it was out of sight and out of mind.

    This was when I talked about having, One Foot in the Grave and a Christmas Tree in My Face. 

    Good times. Good times.

    Now, that damn inflatable Christmas tree returned with a vengeance.

    And it brought friends….

    • Existential dread.
    • Time blindness.
    • Another year is ending.
    • WHERE DID THE TIME GO!?!? Panic mode activated.

    And that was only the beginning of my stomach dropping.

     I started seeing reindeer antlers on cars; Nightmare Before Christmas decorations strung up at people’s houses; Christmas carols blasting in the stores on constant loop from hell; and crowds of people scrambling to do their Christmas shopping. I’ll be at the store picking up broccoli and distilled white vinegar and end up thinking, what the fuck have I been doing in 2025? 

    Though I usually wait until I get home to spiral out of my mind. I don’t need to embarrass myself further in public for not having any “cheer” in my body, much less about dreading the new year drop kicking its way in soon.

    Reflecting Without Spiraling: Anything Worth Patting Myself on the Back For?

    This is a legitimate question—not just for shits and giggles. I personally struggle with accomplishments and recognition, even from personal achievements.

    I NEED to see whether or not my life moved a little away from previous years, else my feedback loop from Hell will scoff and mutter, loser, under its breath.

    So, Fellow Archivists, let’s review what we’ve been doing throughout 2025 together. Silently for you guys, unless you want to share, but publicly for me.

    Let’s Count What Was Different This Year

    Alright, let’s do this bullet point style. The things I’ve accomplished this year that I can say I’m kinda proud of have been:

    • Moving into my own studio.
    • Living on my own for 7 months so far.
    • Got a second job I really like.
    • Built and sustained The Stratagems Archive for 6 months.
    • Made 50 blog cards.
    • Wrote 120+ blog posts.
    • 17 wonderful subscribers—now known Fellow Archivists.
    • The cerebral Fellow Archivists who visit and reflect among themselves.
    • The amazing 44 people who downloaded my experimental PDFs.
    • The incredible 35 people who thought this blog was worth sharing on social media.
    • Wrote 5 Letters from the Void Newsletter articles.
    • Wrote 3 downloadable PDFs.
    • Made 6 stickers.
    • Made 1 personal hoodie.
    • Paid off 1 major credit card debt I carried for 7 months.
    • Got into lock sport/lock picking.
    • Learned to code for 31 days before stopping.
    • Canceled a lot of paid subscriptions I wasn’t using anymore.
    • Gave up friendships that were draining.
    • Slowly re-entering BJJ after nearly 1 year away.
    • Working hard to fund this blog from scratch.

    Yeah, I’m not really sure what else to put down. This list is looking rather long, but I can say that the years prior to 2025, I couldn’t even list 1 thing that felt like I did something that was worth sharing or celebrating. 

    This year’s Christmas reflection has given me a lot of opportunities to say, this year is going to be different, and I actually did something about it.

    Does my list look like I’m coping? Well, yes and no. 

    I’ve been pretty good at making sure my personal obligations have been taken cared of. But does anything I’ve been doing pushing me forward? I haven’t been given enough room to see that yet. 

    It’s not a bad thing, but I’m still in this weird in-between space where I’m not personally drowning, but I’m not completely above water just yet. However, I’ve managed to get a small bubble of air to breathe a little more than I ever gave myself in the last 10+ years.

    Honestly, never in my life would I think anyone would read anything I wrote or try out anything I made and that’s one of the main things that made this year different.

    Not just the blog itself, the late nights and early mornings, the emotional numbness and physical flatness. The fact real people came over quietly and gave this space a chance? Means much more to me than anything I could ever give back for people being here in the void and existing.

    Reflection Questions For You, Fellow Archivists

    Reflection Questions for you Fellow Readers

    • When did you first notice this year felt different—even if you couldn’t explain why at the time?

    • What did you keep doing this year, even when no one was watching or cheering?

    • Which effort of yours feels “small” on paper but took everything you had to sustain?

    • What did you build or maintain quietly, without knowing if it would ever pay off?

    • Where were you mostly coping this year—and where, even briefly, were you moving forward?

    • What didn’t collapse in your life, even though it easily could have?

    • If you made a list like this one, what would surprise you by being longer than expected?

    • What would it mean to acknowledge progress without turning it into pressure for “more”?

    • What part of this year are you still too close to fully appreciate?

    • If next year only asked for continuity—not transformation—what would you want to keep?

    You don’t have to answer every single question, unless you want to, but a lot has happened this year that I didn’t want to cut out a lot of questions just to keep this list short.

    In Conclusion 

    2025 has been an interesting year and it will soon come to a close. I could have written this post closer to Christmas or New Years, but it was worth saying this sooner than later.

    Given that I don’t have a consistent posting schedule, I figured let’s get this out of the way and look into the future for whats next for The Stratagem’s Archive and for myself, The Archivist, of this lovely little corner of the internet.

    I still haven’t gotten my shit together, I still don’t know what I’m doing, I have no idea where my life or my blog is heading, but that’s mostly the point of The Stratagem’s Archives.

    Everyday I have to remind myself what I wrote on the back of my blog card because that is how I see life.

    “Life is an experiment: I’m here for the data and the fallout.”

    How else am I, or any of us, supposed to keep entertained for the following years?

    Thank You Fellow Archivists

    If you made it to the end, I’m really grateful all of you for spending your time here in The Stratagem’s Archives. If you would like to like, subscribe, share, or reflect silently with yourselves, then it would be much appreciated, however you found your way here.

    Until next time, I will see you all in the archives.

    2026, here we go!

    More From The Archives

    Gifts From The Archives

  • More Than Muscle: My 274-Week Ongoing Training Experiment to Survive Real Life (Not Gym Life)

    Author’s Note: This article isn’t about getting ripped. It’s about how I learned to survive life—physically, emotionally, and mentally—when the rest of the world is built for people with perfect schedules. Here is a space for those where life, for them, was anything but perfect.

    Why No Existing Program Fit Me — So I Built One That Did

    I’ve spent 274 weeks—yes, over five years—trying to get strong enough to handle real life, not gym life. During that time, I’ve tested almost every training program the internet and library shelves had to offer.

    The numbers aren’t perfect.

    The timeline isn’t perfect.

    But the training never stopped.

    Over 274 weeks, I’ve trained like:

    • a grappler
    • a calisthenics athlete
    • a strongman
    • a warehouse worker
    • a military-inspired clod
    • an MMA-inspired phony
    • and sometimes, a sleep-deprived goblin running on spite.

    I’ve been tracking 274 weeks of training—on paper, at least. In reality, I’ve been at this since I was 20 or 21, long enough that my original logbook disappeared at some point.

    I’ve tried working out for more than an hour for 5-6 days a week. But when I got overwhelmed or too tired to train, I kept calling myself a weak bitch for not keeping up with any program standards.

    The thing I learned early on was simple:

    I HATED EVERYTHING I WAS DOING.

    • I couldn’t afford a gym membership, so I made do with the old iron weights my dad had.
    • I couldn’t buy separate groceries from the family budget, so I had to make dinner for everyone else.
    • I struggle to this day to get more than two hours of restful sleep at a stretch.
    • My work schedule varies day by day.
    • I had pre-existing and new injuries from working a physically demanding job.
    • I was burning myself out trying to keep up with personal obligations and trying to get “gym strong.”

    My training fell apart constantly. I got hurt. I burned out. I forced myself to follow programs designed for people who slept eight hours, ate perfect meals, and had stable routines.

    I thought I was the problem.

    I thought I was weak, inconsistent, undisciplined.

    Most programs don’t fail because people are weak—they fail because they don’t account for real life.

    In the end, I didn’t build a training program—I built a survival system instead.

    I didn’t earn my expertise from certifications. I earned it from trial, error, burnout, injuries, confusion, experimentation, and refusing to quit.

    So, if you’ve ever tried a program that promised results but didn’t fit your life…

    If you struggle to train around a chaotic schedule, low sleep, or a physically demanding job…

    Or if you want strength that matters in the real world, not just in front of a mirror…

    Then this is for you.

    Here’s Why I Train to Be Chaotic Life Strong

    In my previous More Than Muscle Articles, I’ve mentioned that I decided to pursue fitness my way because following standard gym programs—bench press, deadlifts, and squats—made me painfully aware of how weak I really was.

    I struggled to push my cart of groceries up a slight incline without getting winded.

    That embarrassed the hell out of me because I thought I could handle something so mundane because my big 3 lifts numbers were decent.

    Nope. Domestic chores kicked my ass.

    And I myself—if I couldn’t even do simple chores, could I really consider myself strong and healthy?

    So, I started pursuing fitness from a different perspective—chaotic, unbalanced, and never ideal, but I tried to work with my situation, instead of punishing myself for being an outlier.

    How I Train to Be Chaotic Life Strong

    Before I continue, here’s what my training philosophy and program does NOT involve:

    • Aesthetic-focused training
    • Strict programming
    • Discipline worship
    • Gym culture
    • Perfect sleep, meals, or schedules
    • Hustle porn—celebrating constant grind as if exhaustion were a badge of honor

    I train to:

    • Do my chores without struggle
    • Bear hug and lift people when I get overly excited
    • Push, pull, and carry awkward freight for work weighing between 25 to over 5,000+ pounds
    • Wake up with less stiffness
    • Explore BJJ, calisthenics, and other things I enjoy

    I’ve been training to be chaotic life strong.

    Chaotic Life Strong means building the kind of strength that survives real schedules, real stress, real fatigue, and real chaos.

    Strength that doesn’t rely on perfect conditions.

    It’s strength you can actually use.

    Author’s Note: My Conscious Trade-Offs:

    I’ve accepted that, as I was developing my personal training regimen and philosophy, I had to accept some trade-offs.

    My life situation doesn’t focus on 1 rep maxes, pressing or pushing or squatting a heavily loaded bar, or isolated movements. I chose to look weak on paper to conventional gym metrics because I focused more on what I wanted to achieve: adaptability, mobility, chaos induced functional training instead.

    The main thing is, if I wanted to include deadlifts, bench presses, and other exercises and equipment, I have to make sure:

    • I can afford it.
    • It makes sense for me.
    • And it’s what I want to do.

    Otherwise, on the back burner it goes.

    Same thing with getting professional help; if I can afford a coach to help me fine tune things or I can get certified myself instead down the line, then I have the option to do it later on.

    My Survival Program to Be Chaotic Life Strong

    The first thing I had to change was my attitude toward training.

    I had spent years punishing myself for not being “good enough,” because someone on the internet said so, and I needed to be engaged with wanting to get stronger. Not allergically averse to my physical goals.

    Here’s how I program myself to stay consistent:

    • Minimum viable training: 2 days is enough
    • Modular sessions: mix and match movements
    • Energy-based autoregulation: go until you feel a red flag
    • Movement quality over quantity
    • Life-first programming: obligations never go away
    • Play: ambidextrous writing, juggling, crawling, swinging sticks like a Berserker indoors

    By being flexible and lenient with myself, I’ve achieved more than I ever did in my early 20s:

    • My joints aren’t protesting like the 4th of July
    • I can sit down and get off the floor without using my hands
    • I can move fluidly and explosively, almost like Goku from Dragon Ball Z
    • I can defend against my BJJ partner’s attacks so tightly that they waste energy trying to escape my grip

    Nutrition for Daily Function—Not Aesthetics

    Nutrition is simple: I eat what I’ll actually eat.

    • Broccoli? Yes.
    • Edamame? Of course.
    • Thin meats? Absolutely.
    • Chocolate? Always yes!

    I’m not trying to lose weight or bulk for aesthetics.

    I eat to function and enjoy treats without guilt.

    Sometimes I fast because of low appetite.

    Sometimes I drink a chocolate protein shake or a Chobani smoothie because of said low appetite.

    Sometimes, I get home late from work and I’ll just eat a bowl of cereal before bed.

    Flexibility and listening to my body matter more than rigid rules. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been able to keep going through more than 5 years of this ongoing experiment.

    Sample Flows for Readers

    Below, I’ve included sample flows that readers can try if they want:

    • Mobility Flow: stretches, rolls, and controlled bodyweight movements
    • Strength Flow: kettlebell or sandbag carries, bodyweight push/pull, core activation
    • Chaotic Load Handling: awkward-object lifts, rotations, and full-body coordination

    Try them as written or adapt to your situation. Each flow is designed to teach movement quality, strength, and real-world adaptability without rigid programming or perfect conditions.

    Download Chaotic Life Strong Exercise Flows PDF Here

    Reflect Here, Fellow Archivists

    As we get closer to the end of this article, have you considered a few things for yourself?

    • “When was the last time you tried a program that didn’t fit your life?”
    • “How did you adjust to pursue your own fitness goals within or without a standard program for your life constraints?”
    • “Have you encountered something that made you think that being gym strong wasn’t enough for life?”
    • “If so, how did it change your perspective on what being strong means to you?”

    In Conclusion

    I didn’t want to push five times my body weight and struggle with groceries.

    I didn’t want to stand on my hands if I struggled to stand on my own two feet.

    I didn’t want to give up things I liked because someone on the internet said I should.

    I wanted to explore what my body could do while I still had the strength.

    I wanted to take life head-on and say:

    “This sucks, but life’s gonna have to push back harder to get me to back down.”

    If You Made It to the End

    I appreciate your dedication to finishing things to the end, Fellow Archivists. This article is a brief share of my five-year journey of trial, error, and experimentation.

    It’s a living system, always evolving as my life changes.

    Feel free to like, subscribe, comment, or quietly reflect on your own journey.

    Try the sample flows. If they work, great. If they don’t, hey—that’s still valuable feedback.

    Thank you for spending your time here. And I’ll see you all later in the archives.

    Gifts From the Archives

    Explore The Archives

  • My Return to BJJ—1 Year Later—and Purposely Undergoing a Live Stress Test: A Reflection

    My Hands Were Shaking When I Drove to Class

    It’s been nearly a year since I last stepped on the blue mats of my BJJ academy. According to my training journal, my last class was January 8th, 2025 — my 128th class — before I had to stop due to a back injury and financial constraints from a car accident. Returning on December 7th, 2025, felt like a long time, and I was nervous:

    • It had been nearly a year since I last rolled.

    • There might be people I wouldn’t know.

    • Some classes require students to be at least a 3-stripe white belt for participation. Thankfully, I still qualified as a 3 stripe white belt.

    While driving, my body reacted in unexpected ways: my left calf cramped, I started coughing, and I told myself, “Damn, my body is reacting because it’s nervous. Of all times to be bitching out, it had to be now?”

    After months of routine—work, sleep, errands, video games, and home training—I needed more than the usual grind. BJJ was closer to home now, and it felt like the right time to go back.

    ⸻

    Why I Needed a Stress Test

    For those unfamiliar, a stress test in martial arts, much like in life, is about safely pushing your body to see how it holds up under live conditions.

    Over the years, I’ve collected injuries and scars from inattentiveness, being caught off guard by others, or even my XXL pit bulls jumping on me. I wanted to know: was my body ready for live sparring again?

    Sparring isn’t the same as wrestling. You have to consider chokes, joint locks, and having someone’s full weight on you while pinning your back to the mat. Anything can go wrong. My goal wasn’t to dominate — it was to measure my physical and mental readiness after a long break.

    ⸻

    Walking Back Onto the Mats

    I parked, grabbed my keys and water, locked my doors, and approached the gym cautiously, like a baby deer taking its first steps. Looking inside, I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Familiar faces waved, which calmed my nerves.

    I sought out the professor who owns the academy, but a different instructor was running the class. He recognized me from previous sessions and gave me the green light to spar after the No Gi fundamentals class ended. I sat on the benches, trembling, pressing my hands together, inhaling and exhaling — then holding my breath because I forgot how to breathe.

    Once the class ended, I warmed up with jumping jacks to prime myself. The professor asked if I was okay rolling with a purple belt I knew, and I jumped at the chance.

    I’m not afraid to roll with someone who is bigger, stronger, more experienced, or more skilled than me. I get to learn, practice, and see what I can do, even if they go light to keep both of us safe from sparring.

    ⸻

    How the Stress Test Went

    Three rounds of six-minute sparring later, I was pleasantly surprised at how well I did. It felt more like I had taken a short break, not a full year off.

    Some mistakes were minor — I forgot the precise way to finish a rear choke — but I adjusted when reminded. I even executed an ankle pick sweep: pulling my partner’s ankles toward me while redirecting his momentum with my legs. It didn’t lead to a full reversal, but I was responding appropriately to pressure.

    My rolling style is defensive and strategic. I trap opponents, force them to waste energy, and conserve my own. I’m not explosive or dominant, but I’m patient, resilient, and precise. The stress test reminded me that physical strength isn’t the only measure of capability; strategy, awareness, and calm under pressure matter just as much.

    ⸻

    Reflection

    Returning to BJJ after a long break wasn’t just a test of skill — it was a test of confidence, patience, and self-trust. I learned that:

    • Time away doesn’t erase progress.

    • My instincts are still there; my mind still processes challenges.

    • Nervousness is natural, but preparation and mindfulness make it manageable.

    • Strategy and awareness often matter more than raw strength.

    ⸻

    Questions for You to Reflect On

    1. Have you ever returned to something you loved after a long break? How did it feel physically, mentally, or emotionally?

    2. What kind of “stress test” could you apply to your own life to measure your growth or readiness?

    3. How do you balance nervousness with action in situations that challenge you?

    ⸻

    Thank You for Spending Time with the Archives

    If you enjoyed reading this reflection, I’d love for you to like, subscribe, or share with someone who might appreciate it.

    You can share your thoughts in the comments below to start a discussion, or you can do so anonymously at the archives email, whatimtryingoutnow@gmail.com.

    Otherwise, if you prefer, you can reflect silently and carry your thoughts forward — either way, thank you for spending time with the archives. Your attention and energy mean a lot.

    ————

    Explore The Stratagems Archives

    If this article piqued your interest, then check out the archives below:

  • My 1-Month Primal Queen Experiment: What I’ve Learned So Far

    What Did I Notice In The Past Month?

    After one month of taking Primal Queen, I wanted to reflect honestly—not on hype, but on what actually changed, what didn’t, and what I still need more time to understand.

    Truthfully? I didn’t notice much.

    I’ve been going through the motions of my day-to-day instead of noticing any changes in my mood, energy, and overall health because my mind was more focused on making sure I took my supplements twice a day, instead of what’s happening internally with my body.

    Even though I chose to pursue this experiment for one month—AFTER my Ma told me to start taking Primal Queen because it helped her within weeks—I’m taking things one step at a time because maybe I’m the dud instead of the supplement being the dud this time.

    According to their pamphlet and website, in one month I should experience a “likely reduction in iron deficiency leading to increased vitality, sex drive, and overall well-being.”

    While I didn’t notice anything yet, my parents offered me lovely feedback about what they did notice:

    • I’ve been less cranky
    • I’ve been less irritable

    I’ve been more fluent in speaking and understanding my parents, which means my resting bitch face has softened slightly—a win in itself.

    Thanks, Ma and Dad.

    So, I guess that means I’m getting one step closer to becoming a real-life superhero, right?

    Even with their feedback, I really can’t jump to conclusions. My daily habits were still in play:

    • I don’t eat often
    • I stay up late and wake up throughout the night
    • I feel groggy in the morning
    • I still feel like I don’t want to be anywhere else, except home
    • I still make time to train twice a week for my personal training goals.

    By the time I started this experiment, I was skeptical. I couldn’t attribute how my cycle felt in November to either being a good month or the supplement kicking in.

    Tracking my progress was tedious, and doing so while on vacation came at a slight cost. Nothing major, but it did affect my personal data collection.

    We were constantly on the go—walking, standing, getting onto packed trains and buses, and navigating crowds of people. I didn’t take my Primal Queen supplement for four days because we weren’t eating throughout the day.

    Honestly, missing a few days didn’t ruin the experiment at all. Life gets in the way, things don’t go according to plan, and a little adjustment and leniency go a long way to seeing whether this experiment is helpful in the long run.

    However, much like the expectations I laid out in my first article,My 1-Month Primal Queen Experiment: Tracking Real Results and Supplement Effects 2 Weeks In, I’m not going to blindly listen to my parents claim this supplement is the end-all-be-all.

    A little progress goes a long way, but I need to make sure the supplement is helping me with mood, energy levels, iron deficiency, and flow—and that I’m not sabotaging it with poor habits—before exclaiming, “this shit didn’t work.”

    Many supplements I’ve tried in the past were failures after months of trial and error.

    Takeaways and Reflection Questions for Fellow Archivists:

    • Have you ever tracked a personal experiment and noticed subtle changes you might have missed if you weren’t paying attention?
    • What small improvements in your daily habits or mindset have gone uncelebrated recently?
    • How do you balance expectations with patience when trying something new?

    If you found this reflection helpful or interesting, I invite you to like, subscribe, or share it with someone who might enjoy it. Or, simply sit quietly and reflect with me—no pressure, just observation.

    Thank you for spending your time with The Stratagem’s Archive, Fellow Archivists. Your presence here matters more than you know.

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  • Active Rest Days and Why Adding Them to Your Vacations Could Save You Some Pain

    Wherever You Are Visiting, Don’t Forget That Daily Pains Accrue Regardless

    Vacations feel relaxing in theory — but they’re secretly endurance events. That’s why building active rest into them is essential.

    I’ve been doing a lot of walking — so much walking that my ankles feel swollen and my hips are protesting in pain. Constantly standing from taking multiple subways and trains in one day just to get to a single destination. And all of this happening while I’m “on vacation.”

    I’m very fortunate that my busted knees decided not to fold on themselves from all the walking, climbing, and navigating the sea of people that either flow or crash through everyone else’s way. All while I’m trying not to get separated from my family or get lost.

    Despite the cold — previous days were around 19°C, which my sad American brain cannot convert to Fahrenheit on the fly — the usual twisted pain that creeps into my knees gave me a temporary reprieve.

    That’s something people don’t talk about much when it comes to vacation.

    You expect to leave home, go somewhere new, and do nothing but relax, right?

    You’re going to hate yourself for how wrong that expectation is.

    Why? Because your body is still active. It doesn’t know you’re on “vacation.” All it knows is:

    • you’re walking through stores and crowded streets
    • you’re running to catch trains and hoping they’re the right ones
    • you’re carrying snacks, water, coats, and souvenirs in your backpack
    • you’re navigating someone else’s itinerary
    • you’re underfed, underhydrated, and running on overstimulation

    Your pains don’t go away.

    Vacation or no vacation.

    In fact, your existing pain gets worse when you weren’t the one who built the itinerary. Forget about taking breaks. Forget about putting your feet up. Forget about sitting down for more than five minutes. You’re on borrowed time and someone else’s clock, and your body will make sure you know it.

    Vacationing, am I right?

    Introducing the Merciful Active Rest Days

    Most of us pack our schedule like we’re trying to speedrun a country. But pain still accrues, and your body still keeps score. That’s where active rest days come in.

    Active rest days are your off days from the gym — except you’re still moving, just less intensely. You’re not pushing your usual weights, you’re not chasing PRs, you’re not doing crazy calisthenics. You’re simply being a slower, softer version of your usual chaotic self.

    Each morning while I was on vacation, I woke up as early as I could and, if space allowed, I took 10–30 minutes to myself to engage my body:

    • Cat-cows
    • Bird-dogs
    • Walking lunges
    • Shoulder, forearm, wrist, hip, knee, and ankle circles
    • Cossack squats
    • Regular squats
    • Split practice
    • Butterfly stretches
    • Any stretching I could do with limited time and space
    • And contrast showers — from hot, to proper cold (not cool), then back

    After warming up and stretching (10–15 minutes), I did two sets of push-ups:

    My baseline of 10 reps for the first set, and a smaller second set starting at 5 and slowly increasing each day.

    I recorded everything in the Notes app on my phone, and I’ll transfer it to my workout book when I get home.

    This technically counted toward my two-day training schedule, but realistically, I mostly managed stretching, mobility, and a little strengthening with my time constraints.

    Did Any of This Help?

    I want to be very clear: my rushed routine of warming up, doing push-ups, stretching, and taking contrast showers did help.

    Until it didn’t.

    Active rest is merciful — not magical. It doesn’t erase pain. It teaches you how to manage it when you don’t have your usual tools.

    For me, those tools include:

    • A foam roller
    • A decent amount of floor space
    • And, ultimately, TIME

    On vacation, you don’t get any of that.

    So instead of dragging myself through pain, I moved with intention — because that was all I could control.

    You get creative enough to manage your pains. At least until you get back home and return to your normal pain-management rhythms.

    Next Time I’ll Be Better Prepared

    I underestimated what was going to happen on this trip, and I paid the price over four short (but painfully long) days.

    Next time, if I want to keep my training and pain goals in mind, I’m bringing one set of exercise clothes and using the hotel gym or spa facilities. Especially if they’re open 24/7 and there’s a washer and dryer. Clean clothes are as important to your health as sleep, food, and training.

    Doing this might mean deviating from someone else’s itinerary — but breaking yourself on vacation and arguing with your travel group is completely counterproductive.

    For the Fellow Archivists Beaten Up by Vacationing Too

    If anything here resonated with you, feel free to:

    • like
    • subscribe
    • share
    • or quietly reflect on your own vacation-war stories

    If you’d like to share your thoughts, leave a comment below or send them anonymously to:

    whatimtryingoutnow@gmail.com

    Thank you for making it to the end of this post. Below are other articles you can explore in the Archives to satisfy your curiosity.

    I’ll see you in the Archives later.

    Explore the Archive

  • My Quest to Pre-GMB Certification Bio: Learning to Be Chaotic Life Strong, Not Just Gym Strong

    Author’s Note:

    For the record, GMB stands for Gold Medal Bodies — a movement-based training organization that focuses on building strength, mobility, and control that actually works in real life, not just inside a gym.

    Before I pursue their Level 1 Coach certification (because yes, I’m seriously considering it and want to level up my repertoire), I wanted to document where I’m starting from, what I’ve learned the messy way, and why this path even makes sense for someone like me.

    This is less a résumé and more a field report from the chaos trenches.

    ⸻

    Learning to Be Chaotic Life Strong, Not Athlete Strong

    I’ve had a lot of time to play with different training programs: boxing-inspired circuits, football conditioning, wrestling drills, bro-splits, calisthenics routines, you name it. My logic was simple:

    If I trained like an athlete, maybe I’d become stronger, faster, and harder to mess with — even as a regular person.

    And to be fair, I did get stronger.

    But… then real life slapped me in the face.

    I’d get winded pushing a grocery cart up a slight incline.

    I’d struggle carrying my groceries out of the cart, into the car, out of the car, up the steps, and into the house.

    I’d finish a “monster workout” only to be absolutely useless at my actual job.

    It was embarrassing, despite being the only one who knew this.

    I was young, healthy, training hard…

    And I couldn’t perform basic human tasks without feeling like I was about to collapse.

    What was wrong with me?

    Turns out nothing was “wrong.” I just discovered that the way I was training — and the way most people train — doesn’t transfer well to real life.

    That realization hit me like a medicine ball to the ribs.

    Suddenly, I had a swarm of uncomfortable questions:

    • How does bench-pressing more than my bodyweight help me haul trash bags or move boxes at work?

    • How does eating “clean” 24/7 help me reach my goals if I’m miserable, under-fueled, and ready to bite someone?

    • Why is my “gym strength” not showing up when I actually need it?

    It was distressing. Everything I “knew” about fitness felt flimsy.

    Because what if I wasn’t training for:

    • the NFL

    • the UFC

    • the Olympics

    • the military

    • or any other institution that requires an identity and lifestyle I don’t want?

    What if all I wanted was to be capable, mobile, adaptable, and strong in the weird, unpredictable ways my life expects from me?

    What then?

    That question — what then? — kickstarted five years of experimentation, logging, testing, failing, recovering, and trying again.

    Some days I trained intensely.

    Some days I did active rest.

    Some days I said “fuck this” and didn’t train for weeks.

    All of it went into the log.

    Because all of it was data.

    ⸻

    How Shows Like Physical 100 Broke My Brain (in a Good Way)

    A huge part of why I’m pursuing this style of training came from watching shows like:

    • Physical 100 (Korea)

    • Physical: Asia

    • Siren: Survive the Island

    They exposed how incomplete athletic training can be depending on the demands.

    CrossFitters struggled with grip tasks.

    Bodybuilders gassed out.

    Martial artists couldn’t always apply leverage under unusual constraints.

    People who looked like “monsters” on paper were suddenly ordinary.

    And some people — including a few women — surprised me by pushing back against bigger, stronger opponents.

    It was fascinating.

    It also validated the exact questions I’d been asking myself.

    Because even with all my job demands (heavy lifting, pushing thousands of pounds of product, long hours on my feet) I don’t think I would survive half of Physical 100’s challenges.

    But I want to.

    Not to win.

    Just to see what I’m capable of.

    Just to show up and make it difficult for someone to run me over.

    GMB’s approach — strength + mobility + control + adaptability — clicked perfectly with that goal.

    ⸻

    Why I’m Writing This as a Pre-Certification Bio

    This isn’t a “look how fit I am” intro.

    This is:

    • the starting line

    • the messy context

    • the real-life background that traditional fitness ignores

    • and the mindset behind why I want to be a coach in the first place

    I’m not trying to become an athlete.

    I’m trying to become chaotic life strong — resilient, adaptable, useful, capable in unpredictable environments, and confident in how my body moves through the world.

    And confidently push a grocery cart up the smallest of inclines too.

    GMB feels like the right framework to refine what I already know and fill in the gaps I’ve collected through years of experimenting alone.

    So this is my pre-GMB bio — where I’m coming from, what I’ve realized, and what I’m heading toward next.

    Reflection Questions for Your Own Training Journey

    Before you bounce, take a minute to check in with yourself:

    • Are you training for the life you actually live, or the life you think you should be living?

    • Do your workouts make your real-life tasks easier — or just make you tired on top of tired?

    • Where are you strong on paper but weak in practice?

    • What tasks in your daily or job life expose the gaps in your fitness?

    • What part of you wants to become “chaotic life strong” — and what’s stopping you from exploring it?

    • If you took away aesthetic goals and athlete fantasies, what kind of movement would you genuinely enjoy?

    • What skill, sport, or discipline secretly interests you but you’ve never allowed yourself to try?

    • Are you tracking the things that actually matter to you — or the things you think you’re supposed to measure?

    • What would you want your body to be capable of in the next year, if “looking fit” wasn’t even on the table?

    Answer them out loud, in a journal, or while staring at the ceiling at 2am — whatever fits your chaos.

    ⸻

    Call to Action

    If you vibed with this, learned something, or felt unusually called out in a helpful way, you can:

    • Like this post

    • Share it with someone who trains but hates the gym-robot approach

    • Subscribe to The Stratagems Archive

    • Or honestly?

    Just sit here quietly and soak in the fact that you made it all the way to the end.

    Either way, thanks for spending time in the Archives — it means more than you think.

    Now go train for the life you actually live, not the fantasy highlight reel everyone thinks they need.

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  • 2025 is Nearly Over: What 5 Months Did to Me (And For Me)

    Another Year Coming to a Close—Let’s Look Back Before We Look Ahead

    Oh man. I can still feel the awkwardness of trying to force my blog’s identity into a “real life mastermind/villain” aesthetic.

    My fourth article—the infamous “2025 Is Nearly Over: A 6-Month Reflection & Projecting Ahead”—was my attempt to be clever, narrating like a stylish antagonist.

    What can I say? I liked fictional villains:

    Mads Mikkelsen’s Hannibal (peak elegance)

    BBC’s Moriarty (feral chaos gremlin energy)

    Garou from One Punch Man (antihero goals)

    But rereading that post now? It felt like finding an old childhood journal—full-body cringe.

    The same cringe I felt during my gamer/emo phase. (For the record: no piercings, no dyed hair, and my vampire/werewolf fascination was definitely NOT Twilight-related.)

    Here’s the thing: cringe is often just past-you doing the best you could with the tools you had. June-Me really was.

    This continuing reflection? That’s Present-Me building on top of the foundation Past-Me laid down.

    What’s Changed Since This Post?

    Well, for starters, the mastermind/villain writing aesthetic is gone. My writing no longer reads like an edge-lord making edginess their personality.

    I’ve shifted toward chronicling experiences, sharing interesting experiments, mulling “what if” scenarios, and yes—still procrastinating on folding my laundry.

    I changed my handle from Plans2Action to The Stratagem’s Archive, which felt cooler and better suited to reflecting on life while helping readers explore their own experiences as Fellow Archivists.

    And here’s the big difference: I’m not fueled by rage anymore. I’ve felt like an underdog my whole life—no talent, no skill, no charisma, just heart to keep going—but now, I’m not trying to prove anyone wrong. The people I once wanted to impress? I was chasing the wrong audience.

    I’m ugly. Bitter. Wretched.

    But also hopeful, exhausted through sheer willpower most days, and making my way through life with what I have—at a pace that doesn’t burn me out, doesn’t make me hate myself, and allows me to enjoy the frustrating process along the way.

    Things Still Feel Surreal Months Into 2025

    I still can’t believe how much The Stratagem’s Archive grew. It started as a way to get thoughts out of my head before they rotted. Now:

    And all of this is something Past-Me would never believe possible.

    It’s not just the blog that’s grown. I’ve grown too:

    • Renting my own studio
    • Managing my money and building for my future
    • Feeling at home being asexual
    • Navigating friendships with clear boundaries
    • Making my own map of life instead of blindly following someone else’s blueprint

    Younger me would never have imagined this life. And yet, here I am—living life my way, not punishing myself for unconventional choices, and enjoying the messy journey.

    What’s Next, Moving Towards 2026?

    Ain’t that the question we ask every new year? New Year’s resolutions, envy, self-doubt, the constant “am I doing enough?”

    I don’t know what’s next. Maybe I won’t have a corner office. Maybe I won’t run a Spartan race. Maybe I’ll learn Korean just to try something fun. Who knows?

    What I do know: I’ll keep working on The Stratagem’s Archive, posting when I can—not chasing numbers like an addict—living life, writing, training, exploring, and seeing what else life offers.

    Reflective Questions for Fellow Archivists

    Looking back, what part of your past-you makes you cringe but also feel grateful?

    Which accomplishments in the last months are invisible but meaningful to you?

    If the next 5 months were yours to design, without limits, what would you focus on?

    Thank You, Fellow Archivists

    Whether you silently follow, like, comment, or share, thank you for spending your time here. Your presence, curiosity, and engagement—however big or small—are what make this archive worthwhile.

    Here’s to 2026: one reflection, experiment, and late-night thought at a time.

    Check Out The Archives Below:

  • My 1-Month Primal Queen Experiment: Tracking Real Results and Supplement Effects 2 Weeks In

    Author’s Note:

    Primal Queen is a women’s health supplement. This post is NOT sponsored—I found it because my Ma swears it helped her hot flashes, so naturally, she shoved it in my face. I’m giving it a try.

    I’m not a medical professional, and everything here is my experience only. Fellow archivists, take notes, experiment safely, and remember—your body might have a totally different story.

    Why Am I Talking About a Women’s Health Supplement?

    Simple. Thanks for asking!

    1. If you’ve been following The Stratagems Archive, you know I’m an asexual woman exploring all kinds of things—from finances to video games to life hacks. Health counts.

    2. My family and I have tried supplements over the years to fill gaps: energy, focus, nutrients, etc. When my Ma handed me Primal Queen, I decided—what the hell, let’s see if this thing does what it says.

    So here I am, experimenting.

    What Was Primal Queen Supposed to Do?

    According to the marketing hype (and that tiny insert that comes with it), Primal Queen promises to:

    • Increase energy & vitality
    • Elevate mood
    • Reduce iron deficiencies
    • Support sex drive (ha!)
    • Boost immune system
    • Reduce stress & menstrual cramps
    • Promote healthy skin & delay aging
    • Improve muscle function & recovery
    • Balance hormones & menstrual flow

    …And a bunch more. Basically, if this supplement doesn’t make me a superhero, I’m gonna be disappointed. But okay, you can see why I was skeptical, right?

    What Have I Noticed So Far?

    I started taking Primal Queen October 27, 2025. My November cycle? November 2–7.

    Normally, I:

    • Feel sluggish, bloated, or low-energy before and during my cycle
    • Cramp so hard I want to punch someone in the face
    • End up moody, irritable, and basically done with the world

    This month? Not so much.

    Here’s the kicker: I know what my “good months” feel like, so I wasn’t ready to credit a supplement just yet. I asked myself:

    • Am I sleeping better?
    • Eating more regularly?
    • Drinking more water?
    • Getting sunlight or working out more?

    Some yes, some no. So maybe Primal Queen is doing something—or maybe I just got lucky. Time will tell.

    Quick Data Check

    Category

    This Month

    Last Month

    Started/Ended

    11/2/25-11/7/25

    TBA

    Bloating

    None

    TBA

    Cramps (0-10)

    0

    TBA

    Flow

    Light

    TBA

    Cycle length

    5 days

    TBA

    Energy dips

    During lunch

    TBA

    Mood

    Tired/irritable

    TBA

    Sleep quality

    Low quality

    TBA

    How I’m Doing This Experiment

    Plan:

    • Take Primal Queen for 1 full month.
    • Stop for 1 month.
    • Compare my experience and see if I fall into the 9/10 who benefit or the 1/10 who don’t.

    I’ll be keeping notes and reflections along the way.

    Reflection for Fellow Archivists

    Here’s where I break the 4th wall and talk to you:

    • Have you ever tried supplements for energy, mood, or cycles?
    • How did it feel—physically, mentally, emotionally?
    • Did you track changes consistently or just “hope it works”?
    • Have you noticed patterns over months, seasons, or life changes?

    Experimenting on yourself is not about winning or losing—it’s about noticing what your body tells you.

    Final Thoughts (2 Weeks In)

    Even after only 2 weeks, I’ve noticed how powerful awareness is. Tracking my body, my energy, and my mood—without shame or hype—already feels like a win. Will Primal Queen be the magic pill it claims? Maybe, maybe not. But I’m learning something about my body either way.

    Call to Action

    If this post speaks to you, feel free to:

    Like, subscribe, or share with fellow archivists.

    Reflect quietly on your own experiments.

    Thank yourself for paying attention to your body, mind, and curiosity.

    Because sometimes, the boldest thing you can do is notice, track, and honor your own experience—without waiting for anyone else’s approval.

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