The Stratagem’s Archive

Tag: Asexual perspective

  • Now Noticing November: Reflections on Urges, Awareness, and Myself

    This November, explore “Now Noticing November”—a mindful, judgment-free take on urges, sexual energy, and self-awareness.

    A personal reflection from a 29-year-old asexual woman offering a fresh perspective beyond No Nut November and No Fap.

    Author’s Note / Friendly Heads-Up:

    Hey! This post comes from my perspective as a 29-year-old asexual woman thinking too deeply about urges, curiosity, and intimacy.

    Nothing graphic here—just honest reflections. Some bits mention masturbation or sexual energy, which might feel a little uncomfortable depending on your own experiences.

    That’s okay. Just a heads-up before you dive in.

    A Different Perspective

    Women’s voices on this stuff are rare online. So if this feels a little different, that’s on purpose. Welcome to my corner of the internet—you don’t have to perform, compare, or apologize for being here.

    We’re all exploring together, each on our own journey. The Stratagems Archive is a safe place to reflect.

    Flipping the Script

    I didn’t plan to write about No Nut November (NNN) or No Fap. Honestly, I thought about it because of a morning when I felt unusually aroused—an intensity that came up without any prompting.

    But instead of following the usual rules or shame-driven narratives, I decided to observe, reflect, and write from my own experience.

    This aligns with how I process boundaries, consent, and trust—like in this post about From Video Game Chaos to Personal Growth: How Huniepop and Thought Experiments Made Me Think Too Hard (And That’s Okay)

    Here, I’m giving NNN/No Fap the middle finger—for being ironically rigid, morally loaded, and often harmful.

    Let’s go.

    My Approach

    This November, I’m paying attention—not to a challenge, not to a goal—but to what’s happening inside me.

    I notice tension in my body, subtle urges in my stomach and legs. My mind doesn’t demand release; it quietly asks, “Are you aware of me?”

    Years ago, I tried the standard challenges. Two months without acting on urges as a young adult.

    Did I become stronger, more productive, or fulfilled? Not really. I just felt guilty when I gave in and frustrated when I didn’t.

    I was still stuck in a dead-end job, carrying debt, and hating life because some “rule” told me what I shouldn’t do.

    Now? I notice. I sit with it. I let the feeling rise, fade, or linger—without judgment or urgency. Sometimes I call these urges “energy.”

    Energy I redirect into reading, journaling, working out, writing, or exploring fictional vignettes of intimacy and trust—safe spaces to explore curiosity without harming myself or anyone else.

    Awareness Over Rules

    The loud online NNN/No Fap narratives are full of instructions, memes, and ego-fueled comparisons. Strip that away, and you find something much more interesting: awareness.

    • Awareness of your body.
    • Awareness of your thoughts.
    • Awareness of your own patterns.

    This awareness doesn’t need to shame you. It doesn’t need to make you better than anyone else. It just makes you better for yourself.

    Reflections for You

    Take a moment to reflect—no pressure, no trends, just noticing:

    • Have you tried NNN or No Fap?
    • How did it make you feel—physically, mentally, emotionally?
    • Did you tie abstinence to productivity or self-improvement?
    • Or did you simply notice what your body and mind were doing?
    • What did you learn about yourself when you gave in, held back, or simply sat with your urges without judgment?

    This November, I’m not participating in No Nut November or No Fap. I’m not abstaining to prove anything or to strangers who I don’t rightly know. I’m simply noticing—my urges, my reflections, my curiosity.

    If you’re a Fellow weary Archivist, tired of being told there’s only one right way to handle your body, mind, or habits, I invite you to pause, reflect, and reclaim that space for yourself. You don’t need to follow the trend, the meme, or the challenge. You can simply notice.

    Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is give yourself permission to pay attention—to your body, your mind, and your own journey—without judgment or competition.

    Share Your Thoughts

    If this post speaks to you, feel free to:

    • Like.
    • Subscribe.
    • Share.
    • Reflect quietly.

    Leave a comment below or message me directly at whatimtryingoutnow@gmail.com. I read everything and will get back to you if you’d like to discuss this further.

    Thank you for spending your time in the archives. I hope you leave noticing something new about yourself today.

  • Letters From the Void #5: ‘Tis the Season of Procrastination — November Edition

    Welcome, Fellow Archivists, to another irregular update from The Stratagem’s Archive. A lot has been happening behind the scenes — not all productive, but enough to share, especially since it ties back to my earlier post, What If Everything Just Stopped? What’s Next for The Stratagem’s Archives?

    I’ve recently taken a few steps back from posting consistently like before. My mind needed a break from the creative burn-out I dug myself into. Thankfully, the compulsion to constantly write and publish has dulled a bit, and I can think with less judgment — a nice feeling, though not the main point of this update.

    Procrastination, Projects, and ChatGPT

    Instead of publishing like a maniac, I’ve been quietly cleaning up The Stratagem’s Archive — making it easier to navigate, compiling all 118 posts into relevant pages, and finishing my ebook.

    I went into this thinking, “I can do this in a dedicated day. It’s going to be easy!”

    Nope.

    Instead, your grade-B dumbass here (emphasis on the B) hit multiple creative speed bumps:

    • Messing around with ChatGPT while contemplating the point of flirting and attraction because my asexual, inexperienced, and socially awkward ass needs explicit communication.
    • Finishing six half-done ebook drafts on Canva and avoiding them like they were cursed.
    • Printing two more sticker designs because, well, they exist now.
    • Printing 50 official blog/business cards to feel “professional.”
    • Staring at my iPad like it owed me rent money.

    The Art of Resting Without Quitting

    Here’s what I’ve realized: procrastination isn’t always the enemy. Sometimes it’s your brain saying, “maybe I don’t need to be in survival mode 24/7.”

    I’ve spent months building, writing, and publishing like my existence depended on it — and maybe it did, in a way. But there’s a difference between living to prove you can and living because you want to.

    So if my projects take longer to finish… if I stare at a blinking cursor longer than I write a sentence… if I talk to ChatGPT instead of publishing a new post — that’s okay.

    I’m still here. Still showing up in my own way. And maybe that’s what growth actually looks like: slow, unglamorous, and perfectly imperfect.

    Reflection for Fellow Archivists

    • When was the last time you let yourself pause without guilt?
    • How do you balance productivity and self-compassion?
    • What small progress can you celebrate this week, even if it feels like nothing?

    Take a moment to sit quietly with these questions, or maybe jot down a few thoughts.

    Closing Note

    If this newsletter made you laugh, sigh, or feel a little less alone in your creative chaos, give it a like, share it with a friend, or just let it linger in your mind for a bit.

    And to everyone who keeps reading, commenting, subscribing, or simply following along quietly — thank you for spending a small piece of your time here, in The Stratagem’s Archive.

    Here’s to all of us learning to rest without quitting, one messy draft at a time.

    Check Out Past Letters Below

    Letters from the Void Newsletter

    A Mini Ebook for Action: Introducing The Stratagem’s Manifesto 2.0

    The Stratagem’s Manifesto 1.5: You’re Not Falling Behind—You’re Growing

    The Stratagem’s Manifesto 1.0–You’re Not Falling Behind—You’re a Work in Progress