The Stratagem’s Archive

Category: Navigating adulthood

  • Living Alone Didn’t Feel Like Freedom the Way I Thought It Would

    School and Family Can’t Prepare You For This Stage of Adulthood

    Living on your own is a very interesting experience.

    Maybe you’ve lived with family for years, you were probably using the dorms through college life, but, outside of polished and safe environments, exist, “THE VOID.”

    The Void, as I’ve elegantly termed this experience, is where I’ve gotten knocked in the teeth real fast because no one has ever prepared me for what I was experiencing.

    Sure, my parents made me:

    • Wash dishes
    • Cook
    • Clean my room
    • Wash clothes
    • Taught me how to pay my bills

    But, being the first and only person who has to do every domestic home chore, on top of working, hobbies, and caring for myself, was not what overwhelmed me.

    I was overwhelmed by the experience of learning more about myself in this year long process.

    What Inspired Me to Move Out?

    Last year, I had the impulse to want to move out of my grandma’s house and live on my own.

    This wasn’t planned.

    It wasn’t something I had saved for, let alone earned enough for without stressing about rent.

    It was a spur of the moment where I thought to myself, “What would it be like to live on my own?”

    And the process went on from there.

    I was very thankful that I was able to afford my first studio.

    Trust me; its not easy living on your own in a HCOL state like Hawaii, where I didn’t need my parents to co-sign for me, on my $40k/annual salary, without roommates(I HATE sharing spaces), and as a single person.

    My emergency fund was just under $2k, my rent was $1.2k-$1.3k/month, including monthly utilities, and I brought home maybe $2.2k-$2.4k/month. On good months mind you.

    I was in charge of cleaning my open floor room, cooking my own food, taking care of my health, and working.

    No pressure, right?

    Domestic tasks were never my issue.

    The silence was.

    It Was The Quiet and Lack of Safety That Unsettled Me

    I grew up with my family living in a ghetto area where:

    • People were blasting music constantly,
    • revving their motorcycles or cars in the dead of night,
    • our dogs barking because people were walking near the fence,
    • Emergency services showed up often across the street
    • People used to steal our mangoes from our mango tree often
    • and my dad had sleep apnea, so his snoring kept me awake some nights because I thought he was dying in his sleep.

    When I moved out, I lost a lot of security measures:

    • No fence separating me from people outside
    • My bed is more than several feet away from the door
    • I would get anxious that someone would bust down my door every night
    • And no parents around in case something happened

    I used to lie awake in bed, trying to fill my apartment with soft music or ambience, but nothing stuck.

    I felt extremely vulnerable and needing to eventually get more safety measures for just in case.

    While I do have a camera facing the door from the side, my wooden dowel and my own self can only fend off attackers so long before I might end up either hospitalized or dead.

    Once you start living by yourself, then you can judge whether I’m paranoid or being realistic about my circumstances.

    Then Comes The Neighbors

    By the time you cross the threshold that officially means you are considered, “your own person,” is when you get your own apartment.

    It doesn’t have to be huge.

    It doesn’t need fancy gyms, a pool or a bar.

    Honestly, as long as you have your own:

    • Parking stall
    • Electricity
    • Water
    • In-house laundromat

    Then you are good and set for your lease term.

    Right?

    Sadly, while having your own place is amazing, people will make you wish you had a lot of money to move out REALLY FAST.

    At home, I used to have quiet neighbors, then the loud music blasting ones that didn’t bother us too much, and no one had much issues there.

    Everyone was familiar with each other.

    My apartment complex told a different story because everyone keeps to themselves.

    Fair enough.

    I do too.

    What I hated over the course of living here was people using my parking stall when I’m away at work and I’m coming home, barely able to keep my eyes open from sitting in traffic for hours at a time, to see I can’t even come home, park, shower, eat, and fuck off to sleep without constantly seeing inconsiderate people.

    When Things Are Okay, Then Life Reminds You That Logistics Wear You Down FAST

    It’s like coming home and you see cars parked in your driveway because your neighbors tell their friends and family, “they’re not home, just park there,” EVERY SINGLE DAY!

    Not only am I dealing with the logistics of:

    • Rent
    • Groceries
    • Bills
    • Debts
    • Traffic
    • And work

    I have had the displeasure to have to deal with people NOT my family who are: inconsiderate and take my damn assigned parking stall when I’m at work, who pound on the walls every day at ungodly hours of the day, and not to mention that every time I went to my apartment complex’s management team, they’ve only:

    • Sent out emails to residents to not have guests park in residents parking
    • Residents are left to handle their own issues— I had to submit a report regarding my parking had been taken for over several hours, after I had come home from work already stressed out—and my stall was only freed up because I had contacted the cops for a non-emergency to ask where the law could and couldn’t help me. The person only moved when the cops helping me were looking into the vehicle.
    • There are no signs saying non-residents will be towed for being pricks and be like, “this stall is open, so it’s free real estate. Residents can fuck off because move your feet, lose your seat,” somehow applies to this fucking situation.
    • And my only solution had been to keep submitting reports, take pictures, and HOPE the towing company comes down on time to tow the offending car elsewhere.

    I did exactly that: took pictures, filed a report, and I waited HOURS for a tow truck who never came.

    It’s ridiculous!

    Having police present finally sent the message that this is serious, but it didn’t have to escalate to cops.

    I just wanted to know what I could and couldn’t do legally because everything I’ve done through the proper channels hasn’t helped and I kept hitting wall after wall of services of: we can’t do this, or I’ll have to pay a fee because gas prices are just squeezing everyone at this point.

    Living Alone Puts Compounded Stress and Responsibility Back Onto YOU

    Work is physically draining and emotionally numbing; bills and debts are financially crushing; and people will make your life harder.

    Not like the kind of, “family makes your life harder because they care about you,” hard.

    It’s, “I fucking hate my situation and wished I had a lot of money or could do remote work, just to keep what little bit of peace and autonomy I have left protected,” kind of hard.

    And don’t even get me started on living next to schools either!

    I’ve gotten used to timing when to get home after work because all of the parents had finally picked their kids up and I made time to go to the gym. But the other thing about schools are other developmental issues that keep making living on my own, AND IN THIS COMPLEX, more stressful.

    Unnecessary New Businesses Keep Adding to Existing Traffic and Headaches

    A Sonic opened up literally next door to my studio a few days ago.

    A stone’s throw away, and the line to get into the drive-thru takes up one full lane and it blocks residents from doing regular driving.

    Thanks to the people who are blocking the road, the upside? I only have to cross 3 lanes of traffic instead of 4.

    The downside? People park their cars in my unit’s residential stalls to walk over to Sonic and never come back for hours.

    Every time I come home I can feel my stress levels escalating because:

    1. Sonic isn’t that good. I have better options elsewhere in the area
    2. People are curious and have devil-may-care attitudes, not respecting that people live in the complex next door, is infuriating
    3. I keep having to park somewhere else and stress myself into having a heart attack at how ridiculous having my peace constantly shattered.

    Eventually, the Sonic craze will die down, like it did for Raising Cane’s, but when? How long do I have to keep tolerating this stupidity? Why must my peace be broken for someone else’s?

    I have yet to figure out the answers to these questions, but I now know several things about myself.

    Before You Move Out, Do These Things First

    My situation will look very different from yours if you are planning to move out and find your own place.

    Thats a given.

    But, I wish I did this before I moved out, there are a few things you should consider first:

    What Areas Are You Looking Into?

    Where I live now is very close to my other grandma’s house, 30 minutes away from the grandma’s house I moved out of, and roughly 30-50+ minutes away from my job varying by traffic.

    At the time I moved in, I had to deal with the normal school and work traffic, and not much else.

    The area is quiet, except for dogs rarely barking, there are several fast food restaurants, grocery stores, and gas stations very close to me. I’m also paying for the outside amenities that were present in the area.

    Had I known I was gonna be living between 2 schools, I think I would have not moved in, because I have no kids of my own, but impulsivity won regardless.

    I wished that I researched what was in the vicinity of my studio. It probably would have helped me make informed decisions instead of moving in because I could.

    Next time ask what matters more to where you are thinking of moving into: Is it near schools, near public transportation, close to work? Anything else that would make it be worth living at this specific place versus others?

    Can You Reasonably Afford Living Here?

    I’m using my credit cards to pay for my rent, I’m still saving and investing every Friday, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.

    While I am very thankful that I didn’t need roommates to live with me and split the rent, but that might be a reality you might face.

    So, rules of thumb to consider:

    • Make sure you know what kind of person/people you’ll be rooming with. If you can’t stand slobs, thieves, or people bringing their partners over constantly, then you’ll need to either compromise or look elsewhere.
    • How will you split the responsibilities between roommates?
    • What will happen if someone doesn’t contribute or pull their weight? Who gets the final say?

    Everyday I worry that I won’t be able to keep living in my studio, headaches included, and I’ve cut out a lot of things: BJJ classes, hobbies not video games, hanging out with people, etc.

    While saving and investing is still a molasses slow process, if I could do things over again, then I would have made sure that I had more money saved in case work slowed down again and moving out becomes inevitable.

    Can You See Yourself Living Here Long Term?

    While I’m currently moving into my 2nd year of living on my own, I’m not sure if I can see myself living in this particular complex another year.

    Thats my opinion.

    My current studio is a temporary home base; My things are here, I get to do things on my own without fighting someone to get out of the bathroom when I have to go, small pieces of mind.

    If management enforcement is weak and I’m tired of having to deal with issues myself over my parking and peace of mind, then I better make sure that I pay off my debts, save more money, and look into other places that might fit me better.

    The Reality Of Independence Comes With Constant Costs

    Am I saying that I’m not gonna have issues moving elsewhere?

    Of course not.

    However, I’d rather live away from schools and I don’t have to keep getting pissed about my parking stall, one of the things that I’ve explicitly pay for and is assigned to me, constantly being taken by parents picking up their kids or other residents inviting their family over to hang out and sleep over while I’m at work, at the gym, or just doing errands.

    That is something I’ve identified since living on my own.

    Every day life becomes maintenance and trying to not lose your shit.

    I still lose my shit, I still hope that I finally figure out how to earn money online, or get a higher paying job to get out of the school zone.

    Either way, if you think being independent and living on your own gets you out of your family’s business, I can assure you that I’d rather deal with my family than strangers any day.

    If You Made It To The End

    If anything I’ve written here resonated with you or you know someone who thinks moving out will solve all of their problems, feel free to like or share this with someone who needs more consideration than vibes and wishful thinking.

    You can even click on this Tiny Wave Button below to let me know you can understand or relate to the struggles of adulthood. It’ll take you to my Ko-fi, and even a visit tells me a person came by.

    Tiny Wave 👋

    I have written other articles regarding:

    I welcome you all to explore what the archives has to offer.

    Otherwise, if you want to see if The Stratagems Archive aligns with you, then please start from the very beginning: The Stratagem’s Archive: Start Here

    Otherwise, I will see you all later in the archives!

    Explore More of The Stratagems Archives

  • 2025 is Nearly Over: What 5 Months Did to Me (And For Me)

    Another Year Coming to a Close—Let’s Look Back Before We Look Ahead

    Oh man. I can still feel the awkwardness of trying to force my blog’s identity into a “real life mastermind/villain” aesthetic.

    My fourth article—the infamous “2025 Is Nearly Over: A 6-Month Reflection & Projecting Ahead”—was my attempt to be clever, narrating like a stylish antagonist.

    What can I say? I liked fictional villains:

    Mads Mikkelsen’s Hannibal (peak elegance)

    BBC’s Moriarty (feral chaos gremlin energy)

    Garou from One Punch Man (antihero goals)

    But rereading that post now? It felt like finding an old childhood journal—full-body cringe.

    The same cringe I felt during my gamer/emo phase. (For the record: no piercings, no dyed hair, and my vampire/werewolf fascination was definitely NOT Twilight-related.)

    Here’s the thing: cringe is often just past-you doing the best you could with the tools you had. June-Me really was.

    This continuing reflection? That’s Present-Me building on top of the foundation Past-Me laid down.

    What’s Changed Since This Post?

    Well, for starters, the mastermind/villain writing aesthetic is gone. My writing no longer reads like an edge-lord making edginess their personality.

    I’ve shifted toward chronicling experiences, sharing interesting experiments, mulling “what if” scenarios, and yes—still procrastinating on folding my laundry.

    I changed my handle from Plans2Action to The Stratagem’s Archive, which felt cooler and better suited to reflecting on life while helping readers explore their own experiences as Fellow Archivists.

    And here’s the big difference: I’m not fueled by rage anymore. I’ve felt like an underdog my whole life—no talent, no skill, no charisma, just heart to keep going—but now, I’m not trying to prove anyone wrong. The people I once wanted to impress? I was chasing the wrong audience.

    I’m ugly. Bitter. Wretched.

    But also hopeful, exhausted through sheer willpower most days, and making my way through life with what I have—at a pace that doesn’t burn me out, doesn’t make me hate myself, and allows me to enjoy the frustrating process along the way.

    Things Still Feel Surreal Months Into 2025

    I still can’t believe how much The Stratagem’s Archive grew. It started as a way to get thoughts out of my head before they rotted. Now:

    And all of this is something Past-Me would never believe possible.

    It’s not just the blog that’s grown. I’ve grown too:

    • Renting my own studio
    • Managing my money and building for my future
    • Feeling at home being asexual
    • Navigating friendships with clear boundaries
    • Making my own map of life instead of blindly following someone else’s blueprint

    Younger me would never have imagined this life. And yet, here I am—living life my way, not punishing myself for unconventional choices, and enjoying the messy journey.

    What’s Next, Moving Towards 2026?

    Ain’t that the question we ask every new year? New Year’s resolutions, envy, self-doubt, the constant “am I doing enough?”

    I don’t know what’s next. Maybe I won’t have a corner office. Maybe I won’t run a Spartan race. Maybe I’ll learn Korean just to try something fun. Who knows?

    What I do know: I’ll keep working on The Stratagem’s Archive, posting when I can—not chasing numbers like an addict—living life, writing, training, exploring, and seeing what else life offers.

    Reflective Questions for Fellow Archivists

    Looking back, what part of your past-you makes you cringe but also feel grateful?

    Which accomplishments in the last months are invisible but meaningful to you?

    If the next 5 months were yours to design, without limits, what would you focus on?

    Thank You, Fellow Archivists

    Whether you silently follow, like, comment, or share, thank you for spending your time here. Your presence, curiosity, and engagement—however big or small—are what make this archive worthwhile.

    Here’s to 2026: one reflection, experiment, and late-night thought at a time.

    Check Out The Archives Below:

  • What Asexuality Taught Me About Living In Between

    Welcome — However You Found Your Way Here

    In the Middle — In The Gray

    I’ve never been in a relationship — not because I couldn’t be, but because something about the way people talked about love, dating, and intimacy never quite landed right with me.

    I thought maybe I was just “independent.”

    That I was wired differently.

    That maybe I had trust issues.

    That maybe I was just too tired for all of it.

    People projected their thoughts and fears onto me:

    “You’ll change your mind when you meet the right person.”

    “You’re just scared of being vulnerable.”

    “You’re just picky.”

    “You’re going to be alone forever if you don’t try.”

    I got tired of explaining myself, so I stopped. I figured if I was going to be misunderstood, I might as well be quiet about it. For years, I stayed silent about what I wasn’t feeling — and tried to pretend it didn’t mean anything.

    But two months ago, I found the word I didn’t know I was missing that described what I kept telling people with too many sentences:

    Asexual.

    Suddenly, I had a framework — not a label to box myself into, but a spectrum that felt like home. And while I’m still learning about it, still questioning and exploring, I finally understand something I’ve been living with my whole life:

    I’ve always existed in the gray spaces.

    And I always have.

    Not Broken — Just Different

    I used to feel like something was wrong with me.

    • Why didn’t I daydream about love the way other people did?
    • Why did romance in movies feel like background noise instead of a goal?
    • Why didn’t I feel the “spark” that seemed to guide everyone else’s decisions?

    I felt pressure — subtle and loud — from all sides:

    Could We Talk About Relationships?

    Like, seriously, could we?

    • People coupling up just to avoid loneliness.
    • Friends moving from one relationship to the next without breathing.
    • Others settling down not because they were in love, but because they were tired of waiting.

    One of my aunty’s asked if I’d ever cook for a (man), while we were watching “Gilmore Girls” during our weekly family dinners. I told her, “No, but cooking is an essential skill anyone should learn for themselves.”

    Her question was very sudden, but I thought she was asking for something deeper than she let on, but I didn’t press after answering her second question of, “what can I cook?”

    And I hated how this obsession to be paired up had been normal, had been the driving force that being in a relationship was all that mattered.

    People weren’t going to “fix” my problems if they had their own struggles and insecurities to handle. Adding our crazy to their crazy? That’s a ball destined to drop and it’s a matter of “when”, not “if”, at that point.

    I didn’t want to be with someone out of fear.

    I didn’t want to be chosen because I was there — convenient, available, the “last resort.”

    And I didn’t want to choose someone just to fill a silence I hadn’t made peace with in myself.

    We’re all lonely.

    And these relationships, in my opinion, never last.

    What Queerplatonic Bonds Showed Me

    Since learning about asexuality, I’ve also been learning about something called queerplatonic relationships (QPRs). They challenge the hierarchy that says romantic love is the only love that really matters.

    They’re deeply committed friendships that blur the lines society forces on us — not romantic, not casual, not just “best friends.” Something deeper. Chosen. Defined by the people in it.

    And when I learned about QPRs, something inside me clicked again.

    That kind of intimacy?

    That kind of intentional connection — that honors boundaries and still says, “you matter to me”?

    That’s the kind of relationship I could see myself showing up for.

    I don’t need the romance script.

    I don’t need to be rescued.

    I don’t need to follow anyone else’s timeline.

    But I do need something that feels true, mutual, and emotionally safe. Something where I can offer depth and presence without pretending I’m someone I’m not.

    I’m Not Against Relationships — I Just Don’t Want to Settle

    The truth is, I’m not “averse” to relationships.

    But I’ve also never been in one.

    And I’ve never felt the urgency that so many others seem to have to get into a relationship so quickly.

    If a relationship happens mutually, it happens.

    But it won’t be rushed.

    It won’t be forced just to avoid loneliness.

    It won’t be rooted in fear or urgency or expectation.

    And it definitely won’t be at the cost of who I am.

    I’ve seen too many people get stuck in something they don’t even want, because they thought they had to. Because children entered the picture before they were ready. Because they didn’t stop to ask themselves:

    “Is this what I want, or just what I’ve been told to want?”

    For example, I don’t want children of my own.

    I’m not against adoption, but only if life ever gives me the space, time, health, and stability to care for myself and someone else.

    I know first hand how hard it is to care for a kid when parents were kids just fresh out of high school. No more prepared than a drop out; the year I was born was the year my dad graduated high school— my parents stayed together, they both did what they could even though they struggled, and my dad would remind me often that, “they made a choice, and they chose to own up to it,” rather than letting my grandparents adopt me.

    So, I’ve witnessed it first hand why now isn’t in the cards to care for another person, except myself right now.

    Speaking of right now?

    I’m just trying to survive my 2 jobs.

    I’m trying to sleep more than 3 hours a night.

    Trying to hold onto the version of myself that doesn’t scream in exhaustion every day.

    And even through all of that, I’m still showing up to write — because somewhere out there, someone might read this and say:

    “Me too.”

    What I Want Now: Intentional Connection

    I want friendships where we really see each other — not just pretend we like each other because of what we can take from someone or give.

    I want shared silence that doesn’t feel awkward.

    I want loyalty that isn’t possessive or only from convenience.

    I want support that doesn’t require me to sacrifice myself just to be worthy of it or beg for the bare minimum of care and basic human need.

    I want to feel safe and known.

    That’s all.

    That’s everything.

    I don’t need someone to “fix” me.

    I just want to be allowed to exist in the gray — the in-between — and still be enough.

    I’ve Been Let Down Too Many Times — Now I Know What I Value

    It took years for me to figure out what my values and needs are from having so many friends treat me like I was expendable, worthless, useless, and not even their friend. I was only kept around out of convenience because I was loyal, supported my friends with my time, energy, with gifts my grandma made, and even with my own money.

    It hurt when I was going through a rough time in my high school wrestling career and, where I wanted encouragement, my circle of friends told me to quit.

    I didn’t want to quit, and I told them quietly that I didn’t want to quit. The two friends I followed into the wrestling room quit the first day. They said it was too hard, but I had a lot of fun, even though it was the first real sport I tried out, stuck with for 1 year, and it wasn’t purely academic either.

    When I didn’t take their advice, one friend I knew since second grade yelled at me, she was the loud one in our group, for, “not taking their advice for my problem.”

    Things were already like that where, in the “family dynamic” you have with friends, I wasn’t the “daughter, sister, or aunty.” Nope. I was the crazy neighbor with the bat. I used to just accept those labels, accepted that giving as much as I could without asking for anything in return, except to be included, would somehow let me be part of the group.

    It was worse trying to make plans with everyone to walk around the mall or hang out after school and everyone would all be simultaneously busy. Every morning before class, without fail, they would all talk about how they had fun hanging out at the pool, at the beach, with each other, but no one invited me, not once.

    So, I stayed silent, I kept myself small, hoping and waiting to be included, all just so I wouldn’t be alone either.

    The Patterns Were Repeating — And I Didn’t See It Until a Decade Later

    After I graduated high school, it was time for the next step with attending college. I figured, “new school, no one knows me, so I could be whoever I wanted to be.”

    Yet the same habits came up again and again; because I didn’t know anyone, I would socially withdraw and keep to myself. I would speak to people, but no one really stuck around to exchange numbers with.

    I made friends with 3 people at college who I hung out with the most, though 1 friend had been in my life for 10 years until very recently this year.

    From my experiences with my high school friends and my supposed “best friend” from college who made me feel seen, who didn’t run or criticize me when my temper flared, who made me think things were going to be different, just ended up being the same.

    It took another decade to see that the friends I made were only in it for the “fun time” and when things were convenient and not the “long and difficult times.” No different from any terrible relationship, huh?

    They Hurt Me — But That’s How I Learned What Really Matters.

    After everything I went through with each of my friendships, even my most longest standing friend of 10 years, I finally learned what I value in a friendship/relationship, even though it was hard to.

    But What Good is “History” If There’s No Future? So, below was the start of my future going forward:

    • Clear and direct communication
    • Reciprocity
    • Respect: as an adult, of my time and efforts, and my boundaries
    • Accountability of choices and actions
    • Authenticity
    • Intellectual and physical growth
    • Personal goals
    • Peace of mind, not distress
    • Shared direction

    I’m not asking for perfection — I’m asking for depth. I’ve had enough of shallow relationships that only go as far as what I can give. From now on, I only build with those who want to grow beside me, not because they have to.

    Too many have to’s never showed up for me or kept themselves accountable, so I had to learn to be the friend I wish I had, even though I hate myself.

    An Invitation to Anyone in the Gray

    If you’ve ever felt like you’re “not enough” for love…

    If you’ve never seen yourself in the stories people tell about romance…

    If you’re still figuring out your values, your boundaries, your wants and needs…

    If you’ve felt pressure to settle just to stop being alone…

    Then you’re not alone.

    You’re not broken.

    You don’t have to rush.

    You don’t have to explain yourself to everyone.

    Your way of loving — or not loving — is valid.

    Your pace is allowed.

    Your silence is sacred.

    This is a gray space.

    And it’s a safe space.

    Thanks for sitting with me in it.

    Gently, I ask:

    Have you ever questioned the way you relate to love or connection?

    What do you value most in a friendship, or in the people closest to you?

    What are you still learning to accept about yourself?

    I’m always open to hearing your thoughts — quietly, anonymously, or even just through reading. You can comment below, like, share, or subscribe for more stories like this, or just keep sitting with this post until you’re ready.

    Take what you need.

    Leave what you don’t.

    You’re always welcome here.

    Thank you.

    — The Stratagem’s Archive

  • The Courage to Start: Doing Something Uncomfortable Before It’s Too Late

    Welcome — However You Found Your Way Here

    Why Starting Feels Uncomfortable (and Why That’s Okay)

    When I first thought about starting my blog, discomfort wasn’t just a passing feeling—it was a weight. Thoughts swirled in my head:

    “You’re falling behind in life.” “You’re stuck in jobs that only keep you afloat.” “Why aren’t you building something of your own?”

    That spiral came from something as small as reading a chapter of The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber. Suddenly, I was face-to-face with questions I had avoided for years.

    Life in the Grind: Between Gratitude and Restlessness

    I’ve been lucky in many ways:

    • I live on my own in a small studio.
    • I have steady full-time work with benefits.
    • I pick up part-time hours on top of that.
    • I see family often, and I’m not alone.

    But I also know the grind: 3AM alarms, long commutes, and sitting in traffic wondering if this is all my life will be. I should be grateful (and I am), but envy and restlessness creep in. I want more—more peace, more freedom, more of a life that feels like mine.

    Why I Finally Chose to Write

    I knew I couldn’t keep waiting for the “perfect time.” If I didn’t start now, I might never start at all. A blog felt like:

    A break in my exhausting routine. A way to sharpen my voice and courage. Proof that clumsy and done is better than perfect and never begun.

    This space isn’t about being polished—it’s about being present, learning, and creating even when it feels uncomfortable.

    The Dragon We All Face

    Many of us wrestle with that question: “Am I doing enough?” The truth is, it’s never comfortable to face it. But discomfort is a sign of movement, of growth, of slaying the small dragons that keep us from even trying.

    I don’t have the answers yet. But I know this: starting, no matter how small, is already a victory.

    A Note to Fellow Archivists

    If you’ve found your way here—whether in the early morning hours, on a restless night, or during a pause in your own journey—know this space is for you too. This little archive is a safe place to reflect on your path, even if it doesn’t fit neatly into life’s expectations.

    If something here resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to walk alongside me, subscribing means you’ll also get my Letters from the Void—personal reflections and early glimpses of projects I’m building behind the scenes. And a copy of The Stratagem’s Manifesto as a thank you gift from me to you for subscribing.

    Because sometimes, finding each other in the noise is proof that we’re not as alone as we thought.

    Other Articles

    If you’d like to explore more about doing things even though you’re not ready to comfortable to, I have other articles below too check out:

    Gifts From The Archives