The Stratagem’s Archive

Category: life lessons

  • From Video Game Chaos to Personal Growth: How Huniepop and Thought Experiments Made Me Think Too Hard (And That’s Okay)

    Content Note:

    This post discusses personal reflections on emotional intimacy, asexuality, and boundary-setting through a fictional lens. It references an adult video game (Huniepop), but the focus is on humanizing characters and self-reflection, not sexual content. Reader discretion is advised if these topics may be sensitive.

    Introduction

    I’ve written before about how Elden Ring and other Soulsborne games helped me reflect on personal growth, resilience, and emotional exploration in this post below.

    From Leveling Up in Games to Leveling Up IRL: What Elden Ring (and Soulsborne Games) Taught Me About Growth

    But recently, I realized that an entirely different kind of game—an adult puzzle/relationship game called Huniepop—gave me an equally valuable lens for reflection.

    For those unfamiliar: Huniepop is a dating puzzle game released in 2015 (with sequels later). It mixes “match-three” puzzle mechanics with dating-sim elements and features exaggerated, sexualized characters.

    Its reputation is comedic and adult-oriented—you may have seen YouTubers like Markiplier, CinnamonToastKen, or PewDiepie play it years ago. I played it too, as a dumb 17-year-old college student. Don’t judge me.

    Over the years, my mind used the cast of characters to explore something far beyond the game’s intended mechanics.

    I asked: “What if these characters were humanized, beyond the tropes and commodified portrayals? What would their lives be like if they existed in a world beyond their scripted roles?”

    How a Spanish Class Story Sparked a 10-Year Experiment

    Before I dive deeper into Huniepop, I have to confess how this all started. In high school, during Spanish class, a boy I was on the wrestling team with, told me about how he dated eight different girls at the same time.

    He knew their schedules intimately, and then—predictably—he got caught. One by one, the girls found out, chased him, and beat him up at school. He told me it “straightened him out,” and he ended up being faithful to his girlfriend.

    I nodded along, reading my Inkheart book, taking it at face value—but for some reason, that story lodged itself in my mind.

    When the Huniepop game came out, I imagined being a bystander, watching the women chase the guy who played them down, cheering as the girls taught him a lesson, jumping and screaming: “Fuck, yeah! That’s what you get, asshole!”

    Over the next ten years, that tiny story became part of my mental sandbox. When Huniepop came along, I folded it into the thought experiment: what would happen if one “player” was interacting with eight characters, and they all found out? How would they react? Could the consequences be just?

    What started as a goofy, high-school mental scenario slowly evolved into a tool for reflecting on empathy, justice, and emotional consequences.

    I wasn’t just fantasizing about drama—I was practicing perspective-taking, ethics, and understanding human behavior in a safe, imaginative way.

    The “What If?” Questions

    For over 10 years, I’ve had conversations in my head with the entire Huniepop cast—not for sexual purposes, but as a way to explore human behavior, curiosity, and morality.

    These mental thought experiments imagined the characters as real people with wants, flaws, and histories. I let them grow beyond their archetypes and asked myself how they would handle trust, consent, safety, and emotional connection.

    A few months ago, I also learned that I am asexual. I didn’t want to “sleep” with these characters, nor to be them—I wanted something deeper than skin-deep connection.

    My mind “thinking too hard” about their lives became a kind of accidental therapy. By imagining these scenarios, I could practice empathy, reflect on my boundaries, and examine what I truly wanted from relationships—all without risking harm in the real world.

    Jessie Maye: A Mirror for Growth

    One character, Jessie Maye, became particularly significant. Comparing her first iteration from 2013 to her second in 2021 gave me a profound perspective on growth:

    2015 Jessie: A 36-year-old adult film actress, relatively well-known, the “cougar” archetype. She separated the women and men from the girls/boys. In-game dialogue changes depending on whether you play as a male or female character.

    2021 Jessie: A 38-year-old who has aged out of her industry, tired, seeking genuine connection beyond performance or appearance. She wanted to be valued for her flaws and strengths, not just for what she did or could give.

    There’s a fragility beneath her deflecting exterior—whether I imagined it or the voice actress helped me sense it, it felt real.

    Her evolution mirrored my own experiences. Watching Jessie “grow” in my imagination allowed me to reflect on my own emotional development, my desire for safe intimacy, and my approach to giving and receiving care.

    Jessie became a safe space for practicing emotional closeness. She allowed me to explore what it felt like to be emotionally intimate without sexual expectation, and to recognize the difference between being wanted and being valued.

    Accidental Therapy

    This mental exploration wasn’t something I planned—it was an accident of curiosity. But it worked:

    Emotional arousal can exist separately from sexual desire. My body and heart respond to safety, trust, and being seen. I began to untangle old patterns from friendships where my boundaries were ignored or my value was reduced to what I could give.

    All this came from engaging with fictional characters thoughtfully—taking their “what if” potential seriously, and letting my brain explore the consequences of safe, consensual, and humanized interactions.

    Connection to Real Life

    The lessons I drew from this adult game aren’t about sex—they’re about ethical curiosity, emotional safety, and human growth.

    By thinking critically and empathetically about fictional characters, I strengthened my understanding of my own needs:

    I value safety and consent over obligation or expectation. Emotional closeness matters more than physical closeness alone. Boundaries are essential for healthy growth. Curiosity, reflection, and imagination can help me process complex feelings in ways real-world interactions sometimes can’t.

    Even in a world filled with people who often misunderstood or misused me, I could practice connection safely, intentionally, and without shame.

    Reflections

    Games—regardless of genre or rating—can teach us about ourselves. Fictional characters can be mirrors for empathy, self-reflection, and emotional growth. Thinking deeply, asking “what if,” and exploring consequences mentally can be a form of self-therapy. There’s no shame in using unconventional tools to learn about human complexity.

    “Curiosity and imagination can be as powerful as real-world experience in teaching us about trust, boundaries, and emotional intimacy.”

    Closing Thoughts

    Huniepop gave me an unexpected gift: a safe, imaginative space to explore emotional connection, trust, and being seen. It reminded me that growth can come from anywhere—even small, guilty pleasures—if approached thoughtfully.

    I’m no longer ashamed of my curiosity or the places my mind wanders. Reflection doesn’t have to follow convention to be valuable, and self-discovery can arrive in unexpected forms.

    Reflection Questions for Readers

    • Have you ever used a game or fictional story to explore emotional growth or ethical reflection?
    • How do you differentiate between being wanted and being valued in your own life?
    • Can imaginary or symbolic relationships serve as tools for safe self-exploration?
    • Where might curiosity and reflection help you understand your own emotional needs?

    A Note of Gratitude and Invitation

    Thank you for spending your time here with The Stratagem’s Archive. If this post made you pause, think, or reflect—whether silently or aloud—know that you are not alone. Somewhere, a Fellow Archivist might be experiencing similar confusion, curiosity, or guardedness—and they don’t have to face it alone.

    If this post resonated, feel free to like, share, subscribe, or simply sit quietly and reflect. Your presence here matters.

    You can share your thoughts in the comments or anonymously to whatimtryingoutnow@gmail.com. I’ll read everything, but responding will be a different matter and much slower, but no less grateful despite my slow reply time.

    Gifts From The Archive

  • The Archive Impulse: Why I Keep Writing Even When I Should Rest

    Welcome — However You Found Your Way Here

    Playing Chicken with Myself

    In my last article,Bound by Compulsion: The Hidden Cost of Rituals We Can’t Escape, I tried to untangle why I keep doing what I do — writing every day, stacking projects, refusing to stop even when stopping makes sense.

    I thought it was compulsion. Maybe it is. But as I’ve sat with it, I think there’s another layer to it.

    It feels like I’m playing chicken with myself.

    I stay up too late. I sleep too little. I keep pushing the line forward, daring myself to see how much further I can go before something breaks. And the strange part? I’m not doing it because it’s efficient or even because I enjoy it all the time. I’m doing it because regret is nipping at my heels.

    The Pressure of Time

    I’ve mentioned this feeling, this pressure, in my other articles,

    I’m getting closer to thirty. I’m not married. I’m not cushioned by a comfortable job. I make about $50,000 a year across two jobs — warehouse work at $23/hour, smashing rooms at $16/hour. I’m building my emergency fund, tucking money into retirement, tackling debt one month at a time, and finding small ways to make my ideas tangible: like printing my first ever stickers, and waiting for my hoodie with The Stratagem’s Archive stitched across it to arrive.

    Brick by brick, I’m building something of my own.

    And yet, I still feel those unspoken expectations pressing down:

    You’re running out of time. You’re falling behind. You’re worth less the older you get.

    Society whispers it louder to women — that men age into “distinguished,” while women age out of relevance. Maybe it’s not true for everyone. But it feels real. And that’s enough to make me push harder, faster, almost recklessly. All because I can’t shake myself from believing these scripts as though written in stone.

    Why I Don’t Stop

    The irony isn’t lost on me: pushing like this could shorten the very time I’m afraid of wasting. But when I measure my choices, I still land here:

    • I don’t want to die with a locked archive of things I never dared to try.
    • So I dare myself.
    • To print the stickers.
    • To launch the blog.
    • To write every day even when I’m exhausted.
    • To see what else I can do before the door slams shut.

    It’s not compulsion in the medical sense, maybe. It’s not just discipline or routine either. It’s something murkier. Something like survival. Something like what I’ve started to call the Archive Impulse — the stubborn need to leave something behind that proves I was here. That I was alive and made something that could survive me.

    A Dangerous Engine

    This impulse has given me things I’m proud of. The blog. The manifestos. The archive that keeps growing because I refuse to stop feeding it.

    But it’s also a dangerous engine.

    It eats my rest.

    It blurs my days.

    It makes me question whether I’m in control, or if the need to “do more” is driving me instead.

    Still, it’s mine. It’s the fire that didn’t go out. And even if it burns me sometimes, I’d rather risk the flame than live in the quiet regret of never striking the match. Something that Burning the Candle at Both Ends… For What? Has tried to figure out too.

    To Fellow Archivists

    If you’re reading this and you’ve felt that pressure too — that dare to do more before time takes the chance away — know this: you’re not alone.

    We might not all share the same rituals, or the same fears, but we share the weight. We share the stubbornness. We share the ache of wanting to leave something that proves we mattered.

    Maybe you call it something else. I call it the Archive Impulse.

    A Gentle Ask

    If this article resonates, if you’ve felt the same ticking clock or the same weight pressing down, I invite you to do three things:

    Like this post — it helps show this archive is worth finding. Share it with someone who might need to hear they’re not alone. Subscribe to join The Stratagem’s Archive — you’ll receive behind-the-scenes thoughts, experiments, and my newsletter Letters from the Void.

    As a thank you, subscribers also get access to Two Manifestos + A Gift (For Fellow Archivists) — my early experiments, raw and imperfect, but alive.

    Every click, every return, every silent read helps this space grow. It shifts this archive from being just mine to being ours.

    Author’s Reflection

    I know I can’t keep daring myself forever without cost. I don’t know how to stop yet, but I’m trying to learn how to rest without feeling like I’ve failed.

    Maybe that’s the next dare.

    Until then, the Archive Impulse keeps me moving forward. One brick at a time. One article at a time. One stubborn act of creation after another.

    Thanks for reading.

    — The Stratagem’s Archive

  • It’s All Perspective: On Writing, Struggle, and Using the Tools That Keep Me Going

    Welcome — However You Found Your Way Here

    Experience Comes From Trying and Learning

    There’s something I’ve come to realize lately — not from books or courses or advice I didn’t ask for — but from surviving, from showing up, from trying to keep a piece of myself alive while everything else demands more than I have to give:

    It’s all perspective.

    That phrase has sat with me for a while now, especially as I try to write every day — even while juggling two jobs, physical pain, emotional exhaustion, and a gnawing voice in the back of my mind asking, “Does any of this even matter?”

    Some days I barely have the mental bandwidth to string thoughts together, but I still want to write.

    To say something real. To feel like I still exist.

    So yes — I’ve turned to AI for support.

    Not for shortcuts.

    Not for followers.

    But for structure — for help when my brain feels like scrambled code and my mind is too full of fog to hold up the weight of full paragraphs. Even a sentence is difficult a lot of the time for me to come up with on my own.

    What People Know VS What I Think

    There’s a lot of noise out there.

    People talk about AI like it’s the death of creativity.

    Like using any tool that doesn’t come “purely” from your own brain is some kind of cheat code.

    But I don’t see it that way.

    I’m not giving up my voice.

    I’m not handing over the wheel.

    I’m collaborating with something that helps me keep the engine running on days I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone write a post that feels clear, coherent, and worth sharing.

    It’s not perfect.

    But it’s honest and it has helped me share the ideas swirling around in my head, even after working literally all day and commuting between jobs.

    And if someone wants to judge that from their high horse of energy, time, and privilege?

    Let them.

    They don’t know my hours.

    They don’t live my life.

    Perspective Is a Lens, Not a Law

    It’s wild how much meaning shifts depending on how you look at something.

    A break can be seen as quitting — or as healing. A tool can be seen as cheating — or adapting. A slow pace can be seen as lazy — or as deliberate. Asking for help can be seen as weakness — or as strength that refuses to drown silently.

    Perspective isn’t fact — it’s just the angle you’ve been taught to look from. And if that angle doesn’t serve me anymore, I have every right to shift it.

    I’m Still the One Holding the Pen

    Here’s the truth:

    When I use AI to help build a draft, I still have to read it, cut it, reshape it, rewrite it to match the truth in my chest.

    I delete what doesn’t feel right and what isn’t true for me. Then, I add what only I can say.

    And sometimes I just stare at the screen for a while, exhausted, and let the structure be enough until I can fill it with more.

    That’s not giving up.

    That’s surviving the storm while still finding time to

    write a sentence, or ten, or none at all.

    Keep Showing Up, However You Can

    If you’ve ever felt like your creative spark flickers under the weight of your job, your body, your past, or the expectations placed on you — I get it.

    I’m in it too.

    But don’t let anyone shame you for using whatever tools, habits, rituals, or support systems you need to stay in the fight.

    I’ve seen enough of it through PVP — Player versus Player games like, “Elden Ring”, where certain players think using the tools IMPLEMENTED IN THE GAME is considered “cheating” or “ruining the game.” (If you know, you know).

    Whether that’s AI, notebooks full of scribbles, or writing at 2AM when the world is quiet enough to think — it’s yours.

    Your voice doesn’t become less yours because you get help shaping it.

    This isn’t about perfection. This is about persistence.

    And if perspective changes everything, then maybe it’s time to stop looking at yourself through the lens of people who never tried to understand you in the first place.

    Did any part of this sit with you?

    If you’ve ever felt the same — or even something close — you’re not alone.

    I’d love to hear what came up for you, if you feel like sharing. Whether it’s a quiet “me too,” a story of your own, or just a thought you’ve been holding, the comments are open — and so am I.

    No pressure, no performance. Just space

    Whether you write by hand, by heart, or with a little help — I see you.

    If you’re using tools to stay afloat, what helps you show up in your work or creativity?

    Share your thoughts in the comments, or keep them to yourself — either way, I hope you keep going.

    Fellow Archivists, welcome, as always.

    If you’d like to see the inspirations of this post, check out my other articles on what I think about AI below.

    Learning to Work With A.I. — Not Let It Think For Me

    A.I. Was Taking Over My Writing Life — I Had to Pull Myself Back

    Quarantine Life: In The Confines of Comfort: Idea #1:

    Otherwise, if this spoke to you, leave a comment — I actually read them. They remind me I’m not alone in this either. Sharing helps others find this space too. That matters more than you know.

  • The Whisper of a Far Off Promise — of Freedom, Choice, and Rest.

    I want to rest, but I’m fighting to stay awake.

    I hear the voice of freedom beckoning me.

    It whispers, “One more line. One more idea.”

    And I can’t pretend to turn my back on it again.

    I’m Awake When The World is Asleep

    I often stare at the walls of my apartment; my light clock shines dimly on my face in the darkness. When it’s a tough night, I’ll struggle to sleep, then I look at the time and sigh heavily.

    It’s almost midnight. Again.

    I have to wake up at 2 a.m. if I want to find parking at the warehouse. That gives me maybe… an hour and a half of sleep if I try right now.

    But I won’t.

    Because something in me needs to write before the noise eats me alive.

    I know it’s reckless. I know its not sustainable, I’m tired — not in a poetic way, but in the real, physical, almost-broken way that makes your bones feel heavy and your thoughts turn against you. But if I don’t get these words out of my head, I’ll drown in them.

    Writing to Outrun the Thoughts

    The thoughts always come when I’m still and in motion, in the silence and in the noise.

    They tell me I’m a nobody.

    That I should be grateful to have any job — even one that eats my time and grinds down my health, mind, and soul.

    Because I don’t have a degree, or an impressive resume, or experience, or friends in high places who could help me out, I’m not valuable or worth anything enough to anyone else, and I don’t have a business either.

    That without this job, everything I’ve built would collapse under its own weight — rent, bills, debt, fear.

    But I keep writing. Because it’s the only thing I have that feels like mine.

    The Promise I Chased

    When I started this blog, I believed — truly believed — that I could turn my words into something sustainable. Not viral. Not a brand. Just enough to breathe. Just enough to build an escape hatch in case I got let go.

    Because that’s always possible, isn’t it?

    One shift cut. One bad quarter. One policy change. One injury or accident. One manager who decides I’m expendable.

    I thought maybe — just maybe — if I wrote enough, showed up enough, shared enough, someone would see me. Maybe I could earn a few dollars. Maybe people would support my work.

    And now, nearly 60 posts in, I find myself wondering:

    Was I wrong to believe in that idea?

    Was hope just a softer kind of trap?

    Questioning the Value of My Voice

    Who would pay to read this?

    What value have I created for anyone but myself?

    Those questions haunt me more than failure does. Because failure would at least mean I tried something big. But this? This feels like being stuck in-between — too tired to dream, too stubborn to quit.

    I work two jobs.

    My second one — a part-time gig at a rage room — helps me scrape by, but it could never support me if I lost my full-time warehouse job. That one is the anchor — and I’m terrified of what happens if it slips.

    Why I Moved Out (Even When I Couldn’t Afford To)

    I moved out not because I had to, but because I needed to.

    I didn’t want to keep leaning on my family. I wanted to learn how to stand on my own, to feel what it’s like to be fully responsible for myself. But no one tells you how hard independence really is when you have no safety net and no time.

    Even now, I don’t want to be a burden — not to them, not to anyone.

    But I feel like I’m at the mercy of everything outside me: schedules, bills, landlords, loud neighbors, shifts, exhaustion, bad sleep.

    Some days, I’m just surviving.

    Some days, not even that.

    My family supported my decision and claim I’ve grown since I moved out. Though, I wonder if they only see what they want to because, I don’t verbally share much of what’s going on with them, they tell me to appreciate what I have too. Even if it sucks, even if I hate it, it supports me, right?

    The Far-Off Promise

    And yet… there’s a whisper I keep chasing.

    It speaks to me in the quiet moments, when the city sleeps and my heart still believes in something more. It’s the promise of freedom. Of having time. Of waking up when my body’s ready, not when a schedule demands it. Of creating because I want to — not because I’m scrambling for escape.

    It’s the whisper of choice.

    Of rest.

    Of building a life instead of barely surviving one not meant for me.

    Somewhere, deep down, I still believe I might reach it. Even if it’s far off. Even if no one’s handed me a map.

    No One Is Coming to Save Me — But I’m Still Here

    No degree. No connections. No fancy job titles.

    But I’m still writing.

    Still working.

    Still showing up to my own life with a pen in my hand and a fire in my chest.

    Because if no one is coming to save me, then maybe I’ll save myself — word by word, post by post.

    This blog isn’t a business plan. Not anymore.

    It’s a record. A living document that says:

    I was here. I felt all of this. I wanted more. And I didn’t go quietly.

    To Anyone Else Still Dreaming

    If you’re stuck, tired, or holding onto your dream by a thread — I see you.

    If you’re working two jobs and still not making it,

    if you stay up late to feel human again,

    if you’re doing your best not to be a burden,

    if you’re chasing something no one else sees —

    you’re not alone.

    You’re not broken for wanting more.

    You’re not selfish for needing rest.

    You’re not lazy, or ungrateful, or too much.

    You’re just human. And the world isn’t set up for people like us.

    But we’re still here.

    Still writing.

    Still alive.

    That means something.

    If This Resonated…

    Subscribe to the blog — I write about survival, dreaming, burnout, and why we keep going. Leave a comment — even just one word. I’d love to know what this stirred in you. Share this post — maybe someone else needs it too.

    Or you could check out my newsletter here: Letters from the Void Newsletter.

    No spam, no pressure, just another thing to share. Or you could reflect on these few questions below if you’d like.

    1)What post of mine stuck with you—and why?

    2)What would you want to see more of?

    3)Would you support this space if I offered a way to?

    Now, that everything’s been said and done, I’ll see you all later in the archives.

  • The Real Pros and Cons of Rage Rooms (From Someone Who Works in One)

    A sketch of my job’s mascot representing a person’s (mental and emotional) prison FINALLY getting a chance to be let out in a rage room.

    I Would Like To Rage!!! In A Rage Room!

    “Ever felt that bubbling rage boiling up from within the pit of your soul? You know the feeling: Your body begins shaking, you feel your hands curling and clenching, your breathing becomes shallower and fast, your vision begins to narrow and sound becomes less noticeable, and you feel the need to exert energy and force.

    Many of us keep our emotions bottled up, afraid of judgement and the consequences that will follow if we act on our anger indiscriminately and lash out.

    That’s where a Rage Room comes in!

    A Smash room, a break room, a destruction room, whatever you want to call them, these rooms will allow you to safely explore these feelings that are commonly frowned upon in civilized society in a safe, controlled, and sanctioned environment.

    Observations From A Rage Room Attendant

    As a rage rooms attendant, I’ve seen a lot of different people enter the rage room for their own reasons. Many people, after getting everyone comfortable with the idea with breaking and destroying things, are initially visiting for a few reasons:

    • It’s a company team building experience.
    • A family or friend outing.
    • Are looking for novelty.
    • Celebrating something significant.
    • Going through a lot of stress and emotions.
    • Had been hurt, betrayed, or been through a break up.

    After they pick their items, are suited up, given the safety rules, and put into the rooms, depending on the size of their party, it’s usually free game within their 30-45 minute time slot.

    Some people are awkward and don’t put too much force behind their swings or throws that I tend to find a lot of things left unbroken that I can give to the next group to break.

    Although, most visitors are military, so they fall into one of two categories:

    They are either so efficient that they are in and out of the room in under 5 minutes, likely due to their efficiency and training, while others take their time and enjoy themselves after being on tour.

    Then there’s those who are doing this for fun with friends and family, or people who are celebrating a huge win for their company and they actually like and enjoy their coworkers enough to do an outing, and or someone is leaving their company and this is a farewell gift(a pretty cool and memorable one in my opinion).

    I’ve seen the people who have had their hearts broken. There is nothing more painful and rage inducing than hurt, pain, and loss. When they enter, some are willing to share that they’ve gone through a break up, they still have a smile or neutral expression on their face, but others you can tell only by the type of music they play when the room door closes. It’s pretty obvious and we can see their behavior on the cameras to make sure they’re doing okay.

    Real World Examples In Action

    I remember a group of women, three friends, came in because one friend was going through heartbreak. All three were extremely enthusiastic when in the room that I saw they were stomping on a CPU unit after being told not to in the safety briefing.

    Fun can make people myopic, but they knew what they were getting themselves into and we made sure they didn’t do anything to really hurt themselves or each other.

    Another visitor was a high school boy and his good friend. He was visiting because he was going through a break up, and from what the dad, and the boy’s choice in music, told me.

    The second I heard, “Photograph, Thinking Out Loud, and Perfect” by Ed Sheeran, ‘I’m Not The Only One” by Sam Smith, “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars, and other sad sounding love songs, I knew what was happening.

    The Pro’s of A Rage Room

    I may be a rage room attendant trying to endorse people to try something I work at, but I’ve seen the benefits of people taking their frustrations out with us than outside in the world. Besides novelty, a Rage Room:

    • Allows for safe and immediate release of anger and excess emotions: Why destroy things outside and get arrested, when you can do so someplace designed for this kind of release?
    • Accessible and low-commitment: Unlike therapy or martial arts gyms, you don’t have to commit to scheduled sessions. You can walk in, smash and scream, drink water, and leave and return whenever you want.
    • Provides cathartic support: You don’t have to talk, no one has to listen, it’s just you in a room with things to break, a few lead pipes and sledgehammers, and the world doesn’t have to bat an eye to you in that room. Except us employees. Whatever happens in the rage room, stays in the rage room(unless you’re recording on your phone).

    What Are the Downsides?

    The cons are just as important to know as the pros. They do make a difference if you want to give it a try or not, but it’s not always a make or break deal. Visiting a rage room isn’t always the best solution. A rage room:

    • Can be expensive: It’s a better investment than bail, but the money could be better used towards therapy or a martial arts classes.
    • It doesn’t address the root cause or emotion for the visit: rage rooms are meant to be fun, novel, and an outlet for sublimation, but it’s not a solution. Rage rooms can’t provide skills or strategies to deal with anger or excess emotions that professional help is better equipped to do.
    • It could reinforce destructive behavior: Ironically, though we do have repeat customers, a rage room might reinforce someone’s inclination to deal with their emotions through destructive means. I’m not suggesting that these repeat customers fall into this assumption, but people are interesting and might cling to this outlet as the only solution they can get.
    • Not readily available in your area: Rage rooms are a growing trend, but aren’t everywhere. My workplace is the only one in my state, so some people have to take a drive down or need a plane ticket over. It’s another reason to consider long-term and local alternatives instead.

    Do Rage Rooms Have Anything Else?

    Yes, as far as my job goes, Rage rooms do have other means of letting excess energy out. People don’t have to come in angry to enjoy the services my job can offer, though some people are usually in need of a different kind of release. One not catering towards destruction, rather one that’s more creative.

    We have a Zen Lounge where people can relax, talk stories, and chill after a rage room session or before entering the Splatter Room.

    A Splatter Room is an open paint room where you can shoot paint at the walls, the provided canvases, or each other with paint guns or the paint kits.

    It’s a different and creative release some people appreciate instead of wanting to break things when they don’t feel compelled to.

    We do provide safety gear: ponchos, eye wear, and boots to protect people’s clothes and eyes as best as possible, but friends and family make that difficult when fun’s involved.

    Being creative can be just as cathartic as the rage room as it lets you be physical and you don’t have to care what you create, compared to painting a masterpiece or someone’s house.

    What About The Overly Enthusiastic Individuals?

    Some people have asked, other than what items they are allowed to bring to smash from the outside, if they could bring the person who hurt them in to smash. Other than an obvious, “no”, I’m able to suggest another alternative.

    An Alternative To Rage: Martial Arts

    I’ve done wrestling and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu prior to working at the rage room, so I suggest that people can visit a sparring gym.

    Any gym that offers sparring:

    • Boxing.
    • Kickboxing.
    • Judo.
    • Muay-Thai.
    • Wrestling.
    • BJJ.
    • ANY MARTIAL ARTS GYM.

    Any good gym will teach you new physical skills and how to ensure you keep a level head. Anger doesn’t make a person stronger, no matter how much of a fan of Dragon Ball Z or Naruto: Shippuden you are.

    Those are animes; we don’t live in an anime where we’re the main characters with plot armor. I know this intimately and from experience that anger makes you sloppy, predictable, and a sore loser who refuses to learn or adjust their approach to the sport and to life.

    True Strength Lies Within

    I had spent more than 10 years wrestling with my anger. During BJJ training, I didn’t care what happened to me, I wanted to see what I could do. Even if that meant enduring some locks or chokes because I didn’t want to tap out and I wanted to see if I could get out. My personal motto was, “If I can talk, I’m still breathing.”

    However, I’ve been dealing with emotional numbness for years that a professor at my gym told me some people, and himself, thought something was wrong with me.

    That kind of hurt because that told me people thought I was damaged in some way and it showed in my training. I was eager to learn and use my wrestling experience to help me learn a new sport, but I needed to FEEL something, anything, because I struggled to that wasn’t anger. So, once being told this, I tried to tap more, but my habits always kicked in, unless something really did hurt.

    My training would suffer when I got mad; I would be blind to the countermoves, to the opportunities to attack and defend. I needed more energy, and my trade off was horrible in the end.

    I hated training, I hated myself, and that hate made it difficult to learn or pay attention to the lessons being taught, in BJJ and in life.

    I would rather train and spar than deal with the real reasons for my anger, but I did it anyways. I needed to because doing nothing would have gotten me into real trouble. Then what? I’d be in jail and have that on my record for life, making a lot of opportunities impossible and out of reach than it already is for me.

    Therapy wasn’t the best fit for me when I tried it, but I’m not averse to trying again. Money is kinda tight right now, so I’ve started taking notes, noticing any changes in myself and what could have caused it, setting boundaries, having standards for myself, while pursing new outlets at home and on a budget.

    Seeking professional help, even learning new skills, to redirect anger through a sport or art is more powerful than anger ever could be. It takes more strength and courage to do the things that scare us and I know well that facing my own demons are terrifying.

    I’ve been noticing that some places in my life ignite the rage I’ve been keeping under wraps. It emerges when I feel disrespected, looked down upon, or made a fool of because I’m not conventionally successful or in a position of authority. I’m just a grunt at my full time job and it drives me up the wall.

    Anger and sublimation are signals, not long term solutions, and are trying to tell you that something is wrong. Don’t let it consume you because you might do something you could regret.

    Reflection

    Have you ever gone to a rage room for its novelty, creative outlet, or needed to break something that wasn’t going to hit you back? If you did, share your experience with 1 word that described what it was like or how you felt when you visited.

    I’d love to know what your opinions on them are in the comments below. No pressure. No clickbait. Just curious. Thank you, Fellow Archivists, I’ll see you all in another post.

    Call to Action

    If any part of this resonated with you — the release, the rage, the quiet that follows after — consider sharing this piece with someone who might need a reminder that it’s okay to break before you rebuild.

    Every read, like, subscribe, and share helps this small corner of the internet grow a little louder in a world that keeps trying to quiet us down.

    Below are other reflections I had on feeling anger, redirecting it, not feeling enough, and doing something different.

    Gifts From The Archives:

  • When You Think Your Car Was Stolen (It Wasn’t) and What to Do Next Time Around:

    Deep Breaths Before Freaking Out:

    Welcome, Co-conspirators, to The Stratagem’s Archives, and it is open for perusing. Recently, I, your humble narrator and purveyor of meticulous plans, was taught a lesson – a valuable one – and, thankfully, it ended up being the best case scenario because the worst case would have sent me into a spiral of despair.

    My part-time rage room had pitted me against my ultimate nemesis: parking. In a downtown area where parking is horrendous, customers and employees are allowed to park in another business’s parking garage until spots open up. It’s a 5 minute walk, including the stoplights and the walk up to the garage, a small inconvenience for a mastermind in the making like myself.

    The Moment I Crumbled

    When there was a lull in the chaos at work, I mentioned to my boss and coworker that I was going to retrieve my car, and headed over. As I ascended towards the parking garage, I walked towards the back corner of the lot, and my worst fear unlocked: my car stall was empty.

    My first impulse had always been to contact my parents, my first points of contact for anything, but they weren’t answering my calls. I panicked, then called my boss because I didn’t know what to do or who else to call. Bless his heart because he walked over to where I was to help as I struggled to maintain my composure. My boss, ever the pragmatist, spoke to the security guard on my behalf.

    The security guard, a surprising font of wisdom, mentioned that patrons often misplace their vehicles in this labyrinthine garage. They hadn’t towed anyone in months, he reassured us, despite the downtown area’s reputation for vehicular heists. I managed a shaky nod, agreeing to take “one more look.”

    A Villain’s Humiliation, A Hero’s Resolve

    I swear, in that moment, I’d never wanted to slap myself so hard in my life until that night. While I waited, my amazing Aunty appeared, dispatched by my now-reachable parents who were mobilizing other family members. She sat with me, a calm presence amidst my unraveling. My boss, having confirmed with the security guard that all was well, headed back to his work.

    My aunty, a seasoned veteran of downtown skirmishes, then delivered a surprisingly profound message. She herself had faced the predatory tactics of local towing companies – notorious for being petty thieves who can charge exorbitant fees, vehicle theft, and unhelpful interactions with the police. “I’m glad this happened,” she said, “because now you’ve experienced what this area is really like.” She emphasized the importance of documentation, of relying on evidence rather than my “fallible memory” in a district known for vehicular thefts. Her wisdom resonated deeply.

    And so, with renewed resolve, I took that “one more look.” I walked up one more floor and there it was, my trusty vehicle, precisely where I had left it. I had been diligently searching the second floor, when my car had been patiently waiting for me on the third floor all along. Upon returning to work, and later, when I arrived home, I made sure to take pictures of my car, just as my aunty advised.

    I took her advice to heart, immediately snapping photos of my car when I returned to work and again when I finally got home. I also had to issue a series of apologies to my boss and all the family members I had unnecessarily alarmed. Despite my embarrassment—being 28, I truly felt I should have “known better,” reacting impulsively instead of proactively assessing the situation—everyone reassured me that such mishaps are common. I thanked them all for their invaluable support, vowing to do better next time.

    A New Stratagem: The Deep Breath & Documentation Protocol

    This misadventure, my co-conspirators, taught me a crucial lesson. Even the most cunning among us can be blindsided by our own panicked assumptions. My villainous tendencies, in this instance, led me to prematurely declare defeat and, worse, to neglect the power of proactive measures.

    My commitment to you, and to my own continued reign of… well, whatever it is I’m reigning over, is this: Next time, when the unexpected strikes, I will implement the Deep Breath & Documentation Protocol. Before succumbing to the urge to declare immediate catastrophe, I will take a moment, survey the scene with a clear mind, and double-check my initial assumptions. Furthermore, I will ensure I have a visual record, a digital alibi, to counter any potential memory lapses or external threats. I will not repeat this mistake, and I hope those who read my blog can learn from my temporary lapse in judgment.

    For those of you, my equally neurotic co-conspirators, who might also find yourselves teetering on the edge of a freak-out, remember my ignominious tale. Before you unleash your inner panic monster, take a deep breath. Seriously. Just one. Then, maybe, another. And if circumstances allow, snap a quick photo. Often, the solution is much simpler (and far less catastrophic) than your racing mind leads you to believe, and a little evidence can save you a lot of grief.

    What minor misstep has sent your carefully constructed plans into a temporary tailspin? Let me know in the comments below and I will see you all again when the archives open!

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    I write about creativity, coding, art, and personal growth.

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  • Some Days I Don’t Want to Be Here — On Surviving When Everything Else Feels Heavy

    I Don’t Have Any Answers

    Welcome, fellow archivists.

    This isn’t going to be a post full of strategies or 5-step solutions. I don’t have answers. I don’t have any neat, Instagram-worthy fixes for feeling worthless, angry, exhausted, or like a failure.

    All I have is the truth: I’m still here. I show up. That’s it.

    When There’s No Outlet That Works

    Every day, I feel like crying. Or screaming. Or fighting someone. Or curling into a ball and disappearing.

    Most days, I don’t do any of it. I keep it inside. I go to work. I lift boxes. I nod. I breathe through the rage.

    It feels like that, at work, the only time I’ll be acknowledged is: being asked to pick up someone else’s slack, when my mind blanks out and I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing, or when I make a mistake and that immediately overshadows ALL of the good work I’d done prior.

    Sometimes I don’t even feel angry — I’m just so tired that people assume I’m mad.

    But truth is? I’ve tried the healthy outlets.

    I’ve done the journaling. The walking. The meditating. The deep breathing. The exercising. The learning. The “focus on your goals” grindset.

    I’ve tried cold showers. Better sleep. Better food.

    And it all helps… but it’s not enough. Not when the storm keeps coming back. Not when my mind is so convinced that I’m not worth keeping or being around.

    I Keep Trying Anyway

    I try to channel this torrent of emotions into my projects:

    • Writing D&D prompts I may never run.
    • Trying to code, even though I spent 10 years thinking I wasn’t smart enough.
    • Taking online courses that might help one day.
    • Working two jobs.
    • Keeping myself occupied so I don’t fall into that deep, silent well again.

    But most of the time, I’m not healing. I’m just surviving.

    Mostly I’m surviving. If you want to read more about these slow projects and quiet experiments, I sometimes write about them in Letters from the Void.

    This Pain and Anger Has A Name

    I would often ask myself the same question over and over again;

    What do I have to be angry about?

    That question, that right there, is called “Comparative Guilt.”

    This guilt would trick me, maybe it tricked you too, into thinking that I’m not suffering enough as someone going through real suffering to matter.

    I have so much good in my life:

    • I have caring and supportive family.
    • I’ve been living on my own for a few months.
    • I chose myself over staying in toxic and diminishing friendships.
    • I’ve started my own blog.
    • I’m working 2 jobs to aggressively get out of $15,000 of debt.
    • I’ve been investing in my retirement and my present for 2-3 years now.

    So, what should I be angry, upset, or numb over? I’ve got it so good, someone would want to trade spots with me.

    That’s the guilt trying to tell me that I’m not enough, even though I already struggle with combating feeling like a failure, worthless, and not good enough on the daily. It’s trying to say, “give up, you’re not worth it.”

    But I don’t give up, I’m stubborn like that. I might be a glutton for punishment because feeling angry, upset, or numb might be the only things I can feel these days. For now, that is enough, until I’m able to learn how to smile and feel content or joy again.

    Living Is The Loudest Rebellion I Have

    I’ve started believing that the biggest “f*** you” to a world that seems to want you to disappear… is to not disappear.

    Not to win. Not to thrive. Not to be impressive.

    Just to keep existing, even when it hurts. Even when nothing helps. Even when you don’t want to.

    There’s no power move louder than refusing to vanish — even if you’re dragging yourself through the day.

    If You’re Still Here Too…

    Then maybe you’re like me.

    You don’t have the answers.

    You’re angry and exhausted and worn down.

    But you still show up. Somehow.

    And that counts for something, even if no one sees it. Even if you forget why.

    This post isn’t here to fix you.

    It’s just a reminder:

    If all you did today was survive, that’s still resistance.

    A Note For Fellow Archivists

    If any part of this piece resonates, I’d love to invite you to pause for a moment and reflect on your own journey.

    What part of your story feels messy, uncertain, or unfinished right now? Where are you weary, wondering, or wandering? What small reminder do you need today that you don’t have to fit neatly into anyone’s expectations?

    You don’t have to share your reflections out loud — sometimes it’s enough just to notice them for yourself. But if you’d like, you’re always welcome to write them in the comments, or even send them my way privately. This space is here so that we can remind ourselves and each other: you’re not alone in this.

    If you’ve found something meaningful here, liking, sharing, or subscribing helps fellow wanderers find this little pocket of the internet too. And if you subscribe, you’ll also receive Letters from the Void, my newsletter where I share more quiet reflections, behind-the-scenes projects, and updates before they appear anywhere else.

    However you choose to engage — silently reading, reflecting privately, or joining in the conversation — you’re part of this archive. Thank you for being here.

  • Eradicating A Burden: Eliminating Personal Debt to Ascend:

    The Stratagem’s Impediment:

    Welcome fellow Villainous Co-conspirators, for stumbling into The Stratagem; now, today, I’m going to share a predicament that I, The Stratagem’s creator, am facing right now… this burden hinders all people from all walks of life — heroes, villains, anti-heroes, anti-villains, and civilians alike. It is one of the main foundations for any pursuit. This crippling burden I’m speaking of is called, Personal Debt—a significant amount, and if you think heroes are the only ones to throw a wrench in your plans, you are sadly incorrect.

    Do you have any idea why Personal Debt is a far more devastating force to deal with than any other living and conceptual adversary? Imagine this: you have constructed the perfect plan, a plan so diabolical that it could turn the tides to your favor, and all you need to ensure its construction is possible is money. Every fictional villain tends to steal from banks and incredibly wealthy individuals. If operations, tools, gadgets, and personnel could function on hopes and dreams, or fear and anxiety, what then? No, no, no, money isn’t just a symbol of one’s avarice and greed; it is a tool for fair exchange since gadgets, keeping the Stratagem running, and paying for good help takes money. This is how any business functions.

    We need to make sure that every dollar we owe to Personal Debt returns to us for our own personal use. I personally hate debt, especially debt that hinders the individual’s progress, growth, pursuits, and opportunities. Imagine what it would be like to be free from debt, no longer owing money to financial institutions because of an emergency or surprise expense that you didn’t have cash on hand. You could return to your plans of crafting the life you want to be proud of. In the following paragraphs, I’ll share with you what I’ve been doing to eradicate my personal debt, the resources I’ve been learning and from using, and the progress made since taking on this challenge.

    Have You Acknowledged That Something Is Wrong With This Picture?

    During my journey into financial literacy books, videos, and other resources, the one thing that we need to start with in destroying Personal Debt is to acknowledge it— Acknowledge that there’s a limitation preventing you from achieving your goals and halting your plans. My favorite resource to watch that shows what happens when people ignore their debts, who keep racking up new debt onto existing debt, and thinking it’ll magically sort itself out is from a Netflix show called, “How to Get Rich.” If you’ve ever read the book, “I Will Teach You to be Rich” by Ramit Sethi, or watched his YouTube channel by the same name, he has had guests on this show do just that: ignore their debts.

    I think that ignoring your debts is a horrible tactic and it widens the gap between becoming free from it and remaining its hostage. The best financial resources I’ve come across that’s helped me improve my financial literacy and competency(in no way am I affiliated with these resources) are:

    • I Will Teach You to be Rich: The books, journal, and YouTube channel by Ramit Sethi.
    • The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel.
    • The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason (audiobook Narrated by Grover Gardner).
    • Alux.com YouTube channel and app.

    I had improved with how I use the money that I earn, saved, and invested from jobs that let me hide among the masses. These had been the best resources I could find that helps people who don’t have a business or are not self-employed make the most of what they have. I am not affiliated with these people, just a fan of their work, which has helped me see with more clarity than before. Now, let’s move on to how I’ve been tackling my Personal Debt of $17,000.

    The Stratagem’s Aggressive Payoff Strategy:

    How I started to tackle my Personal Debt was to write down how much I owed and what each of my debts APR(Annual Percentage Rate) for each debts (which includes interest rates and fees) and displaying them prominently. For myself, I have a white board on my desk, so I wrote the numbers down.

    • Short-term debt: $5,000
    • Medium-term Debt: $12,000

    The first thing that I decided to do was to put a stop to using my short term debt. I had paid off all other balances using a loan. I didn’t want to spread my money too thin again. Putting your physical and other means of accruing debt away to not use will take willpower to not swipe and increase your debt. Instead, I changed to using a cash envelope system.

    If you’re unfamiliar with what the Cash Envelope System is, it’s where you take out cash each month to pay for your necessities, groceries, gas, and fun activities or things you want to buy on a budget. Using this system will give you pause where you would have to ask yourself: 1)what can I get with X amount of dollars in my hand? 2)am I buying X because I need it or because I want it? These are the few questions I ask myself when I go shopping and I withdraw between $200-$300/week to spend. How I separate the money each week, especially more than $200, let’s use $300 as easy math:

    • $200 for groceries.
    • $40 for gas
    • $20 put away for, as Ramit Sethi coined it, “Guilt Free Spending”.
    • $20 put aside for funding this blog.
    • $20 for whatever cause I will financially support once I reach $100-$200 milestone.

    The second thing that I decided to do was to get a part-time job; this was a personal choice because my full-time job had our hours cut and my paycheck shrank as well. I went job hunting for 1 month looking on Indeed and applying on the company’s job board before getting hired at a rage room part-time. The extra money, even though I had to adapt to extra workload, had helped with making sure my bills were paid. I’m not beneath working 2 jobs, though I am fortunate that both jobs were flexible and worked with me, no one should not feel ashamed for making such a decision.

    Having 2 jobs, though draining, had given me the freedom to use an aggressive pay off method called, The Avalanche Debt Payoff Method. What this means is that you are paying more than the minimum payment towards the debt that has the highest APR. When looking at this from a mathematical perspective, tackling the debt with the highest APR also reduces the amount of interest that could be added on to the existing debt.

    Even though my highest debt is $12,000.00, it would not make mathematical sense if I paid this off first. When using the Avalanche Debt Payoff Method, getting rid of the debt that will accumulate interest fastest will free up more money in the long run. By ensuring that I pay the minimum payment towards my other loan, I’ll be shrinking that loan with less penalties. I’ve been saving as much as $1,000.00 to put towards my credit card debt to pay it down faster. The more money you can put towards it, the faster this burden will be gone.

    A Less Aggressive Option is Available

    I chose the Avalanche Debt Payoff Method because I could pay off my debt aggressively. Thanks to working a full-time job and a part-time job, this option is mathematically sound for my situation. However, for those who aren’t able to use the Avalanche Debt Payoff Method, a less aggressive method is available: The Snowball Debt Payoff Method is used to pay off the smallest debt balance off first and work up towards the highest balance.

    For example, if my $17,000.00 debt were spread across 4 different accounts, using this hypothetical debt to explain this payoff method, you would start by paying off the lowest balance. Then you’d move up to the next balance, until you pay off the next balance, and you focus on the last debt.

    From personal experience, using the Avalanche Debt Payoff Method can feel mentally taxing—you’re seeing a lot of money move from your bank account to pay towards your debt and it can feel as though you’re not making a dent. I’ve thought of many scenarios of what I could be doing, instead of paying off my debts. I could be using that money to:

    • Donate to either a food bank, the blood bank, a school that needs school supplies, to a local library, or a farmer’s market.
    • Buy a nice lunch for my family once a month.
    • Repay my parents money I had borrowed from them for an event I chose to attend last minute.

    These are the things I would do once my debts are paid off. Remember that everyone is facing different challenges and has their own goals. These are mine and I will see them fulfilled.

    This payoff method offers a plethora of benefits that its aggressive counterpart would not. The less aggressive method grants:

    • Bursts of dopamine from eliminating small debts and seeing each debt gone.
    • A sense of accomplishment.
    • Provides an increase of strength to keep pushing through their (financial) challenges.

    This method could also help individuals who are:

    • Working one job.
    • Earn under $50,000/annual salary.
    • Taking care of children, elderly or sick family members.

    For anyone who is already overwhelmed by their debt and other responsibilities, this could offer a sense of accomplishment and as though their situation has hope, instead of seeing it as hopeless.

    Plans Need An End Date

    Regardless of the method you choose to use to pay off your debts, you will need to have an end date for when you will become debt free. Why? Because it gives you something tangible to strive for than leaving it up to chance.

    When I didn’t set a deadline to when I wanted to be debt-free, battling debt felt impossible in the beginning. Not having a deadline drops you into the someday category, the same as how New Year’s Resolutions are: I’ll someday get to travel, or I’ll someday get healthier, or I’ll someday get myself out of debt. NO! Someday, without a goal and a when to strive for, is a wish, not a strategy.

    Go ahead and try it; keep paying your debts without a deadline and see how it feels, then set one. Share how much of a mental shift it is once you’ve tried this out yourself.

    Treat your empire the same as eliminating debt—have a concrete date for when you want to start building your empire, instead of letting it become a someday wish. Otherwise, you will likely be at the mercy of life and nothing will change for you because you followed the same strategies you’ve always followed. We’re not simply Dreamers, Fellow Co-conspirators. We are Dreamers who plans, takes responsibility, and executes on our plans. Now, let’s move on.

    What Happens If You Choose Neither Method?

    If you choose neither method to tackle your debt—then the only thing that will happen would be a longer financial sentence. You need to choose which plan works for your situation and act on it, then you have enough sense to not remain debt’s prisoner.

    You are the only one who gets to decide how to live your life, no one else, especially not some institution who cares about taking as much money from you as possible. That is what we’re here for—fighting for our financial freedom and get back to building our empire!

    Charting Your Course to Financial Domination!

    Understanding your enemy and the damages they can inflict on your rising empire is the first step towards victory. We’ve explored how devastating inaction can be and the immense power the strategies like the Avalanche and Snowball methods. Now, the choice is yours fellow co-conspirators.

    No matter the battlefield you are fighting on, the time to act is now. What course of action are you taking and how you feel about the progress you’ve been making? Share in the comments a glimpse of your journey for other co-conspirators to learn and take inspiration from. Thank you for visiting The Stratagem’s Archives, now build your empire!

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  • The Courage to Start: Doing Something Uncomfortable Before It’s Too Late

    Welcome — However You Found Your Way Here

    Why Starting Feels Uncomfortable (and Why That’s Okay)

    When I first thought about starting my blog, discomfort wasn’t just a passing feeling—it was a weight. Thoughts swirled in my head:

    “You’re falling behind in life.” “You’re stuck in jobs that only keep you afloat.” “Why aren’t you building something of your own?”

    That spiral came from something as small as reading a chapter of The Opposite of Spoiled by Ron Lieber. Suddenly, I was face-to-face with questions I had avoided for years.

    Life in the Grind: Between Gratitude and Restlessness

    I’ve been lucky in many ways:

    • I live on my own in a small studio.
    • I have steady full-time work with benefits.
    • I pick up part-time hours on top of that.
    • I see family often, and I’m not alone.

    But I also know the grind: 3AM alarms, long commutes, and sitting in traffic wondering if this is all my life will be. I should be grateful (and I am), but envy and restlessness creep in. I want more—more peace, more freedom, more of a life that feels like mine.

    Why I Finally Chose to Write

    I knew I couldn’t keep waiting for the “perfect time.” If I didn’t start now, I might never start at all. A blog felt like:

    A break in my exhausting routine. A way to sharpen my voice and courage. Proof that clumsy and done is better than perfect and never begun.

    This space isn’t about being polished—it’s about being present, learning, and creating even when it feels uncomfortable.

    The Dragon We All Face

    Many of us wrestle with that question: “Am I doing enough?” The truth is, it’s never comfortable to face it. But discomfort is a sign of movement, of growth, of slaying the small dragons that keep us from even trying.

    I don’t have the answers yet. But I know this: starting, no matter how small, is already a victory.

    A Note to Fellow Archivists

    If you’ve found your way here—whether in the early morning hours, on a restless night, or during a pause in your own journey—know this space is for you too. This little archive is a safe place to reflect on your path, even if it doesn’t fit neatly into life’s expectations.

    If something here resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to walk alongside me, subscribing means you’ll also get my Letters from the Void—personal reflections and early glimpses of projects I’m building behind the scenes. And a copy of The Stratagem’s Manifesto as a thank you gift from me to you for subscribing.

    Because sometimes, finding each other in the noise is proof that we’re not as alone as we thought.

    Other Articles

    If you’d like to explore more about doing things even though you’re not ready to comfortable to, I have other articles below too check out:

    Gifts From The Archives